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Ontopic A Thread About Butt Mustard, For Those Who Drive Automobiles

Discussion in 'useless chatter' started by Sarcasmo, Mar 8, 2013.

  1. I didn't I learned the trick.
    OOD and Strings gravied this.
  2. And maybe I'm one of those peacocks, with my shiny sports cars, but at least I built them myself.
    Ledboots gravied this.
  3. I was typing a response to this but Jehannum nailed it.

    I think it's a safe assumption that if you've got "I'D RATHER BE CUMMIN THAN STROKIN" plastered across the back of your Dodge 3500, you aren't doing much cummin'. Well, unless you're picking up teenagers with daddy issues.
    Jehannum gravied this.
  4. They all have tattoos too. Bone-heads.
    OOD, gee, nukes and 1 other person gravied this.
  5. You've got a good memory!

    Hope you like the noogie I'm sending your way via TCP/IP.
  6. Latest fad seems to be those light bars that go all the way across the cab with about 6 bazillion candlepower.
  7. At least those are well above my sightlines.

    It's when they're in the grille that I get the full effect.
    Ledboots and HipHugHer gravied this.
  8. Tribal tattoos, of course.
    And they spend way too much money at GNC.
    And they spend way too much money on t-shirts and ball caps.
    And they won't shut the fuck up about UFC. Or worse, they won't shut the fuck up about their own MMA training they're apparently doing, and how it's so much better than whatever UFC fighter lost a couple nights before.
    And they wear half a can of body spray.
    And they get all pissy and threaten to beat your ass when you make fun of their shitty/illegal parking job.
    Jehannum and nukes gravied this.
  9. Fuck those goddamn things, which brings me to the next thing I hate: Jeep owners.

    plot and HipHugHer gravied this.
  10. Don't you have a flashlight or two that you could reasonably retaliate with?
  11. I'ma put one of those light bars on the back of the car.
    OOD and nukes gravied this.
  12. Sadly the Audi doesn't have the option for the automatic mirror/seat positions, so I could hit a button and have it aim the side mirrors to blind the person with their own light.
    Ledboots and HipHugHer gravied this.
  13. I've done that with my center rear view mirror.
    Ledboots gravied this.
  14. Imma have my truck lifted the length of my schlong. 48"

    Then bolt 87 lights to it.

    Oh wait, I'm not a fucktard trying to prove himself to people. So I won't be doing any of that.
    Jehannum gravied this.
  15. I'm waiting on the edge of my seat for your evaluation of my car choices.
    nukes gravied this.
  16. Of course you are.
    Amstel gravied this.
  17. Ranger and Bronco confirmed. Ranger looks like assbags, I'm betting that the Bronco will probably be on the Ranger chassis and look like an early exploder, aka more assbags

  18. I used to drive a nice truck. It was classy, but not stock. I towed things with it and loaded up the back end quite a few times. 2wd tho because I live in socal where there's literally no need for a 4wd truck on the freeways. I loved that truck. But it was huge. There were so many parking lots I couldn't use because the tires would be on both lines, U-turns were impossible in major metropolitan areas, and I had to help everyone move their shit with my truck that got 15 mpg on a good day. Fuck that noise.

    Now I drive a Ford Focus Hatchback.

    I regret not getting the manual, otherwise I love the small car thing.
    Ledboots, Jehannum and HipHugHer gravied this.
  19. I did the same thing when I got rid of my Ram quad cab for the Landrover. So much nicer being able to park and go downtown.
  20. I wish Nissan, Toyota, etal. still made the truly small trucks. The "small" shit now is at least midsize.

    They'd do everything you need to do living in a city but still easy to get around, park, etc. The extended cabs could fit my 6'2" frame comfortably and still make a U-turn on a city Street, fit down an alley with dumpsters on one side, parallel park in a standard spot, etc.
    DerHoggz gravied this.