A serious question

[Thorn Bird]

the only validity i see in the rush to get married is if a woman really wants to get married and have kids. it really is a matter of getting the kids in while a woman is still able to conceive, and conceive healthily. i know i'd be a bit upset if i found myself at 32 with no one, seeing as how i wanted to get married and have kids.
not that it's for everyone, and there shouldn't be a pressure on anyone to marry and have kids. but if you want to, and you're a woman, your clock IS ticking.

 

[taeric]

Forcefed via Disney, marketing [i.e. Valentines Day, jewelry commercials 'Show her you love her, give her a big effing rock the size of her Mercedes Benz', etc.] and society. 'Always the mrides maid, never the bride'

I would still say the largest pressure comes from other women. And really, I don't feel like this is tough statement. Peer pressure is always most influential on people. But to further it, I've met few guys that gave a rats ass about how large a diamond is. I've met plenty of women that love showing theirs off, though. (And don't get me started on how god damned stupid the whole diamond crap is.)

 

[my little brony]

I would still say the largest pressure comes from other women. And really, I don't feel like this is tough statement. Peer pressure is always most influential on people. But to further it, I've met few guys that gave a rats ass about how large a diamond is. I've met plenty of women that love showing theirs off, though. (And don't get me started on how god damned stupid the whole diamond crap is.)

I learned not too long ago and while I probably never really see the appeal in ornamental jewelry the important part is that the girl does.

 

[taeric]

I learned not too long ago and while I probably never really see the appeal in ornamental jewelry the important part is that the girl does.

I don't have a problem with jewelry. What I don't like is how everyone fucking believes that diamonds have always been given as an engagement gift. I swear, if men have nascar as a sport that is all about being a consumer whore, women have the bridal industry. And I'm not against weddings, either, just bullshit.

 

[my little brony]

Engagement plasma tv > *

 

[reverendsaintjay]

am i the only one who decided/learned to be content regardless of my situation?

Careful Thrawn, that's dangerously close to espousing the belief that true happiness comes from within, not from the people or things around you. If the crazies find out you are that close to being well adjusted they'll start flocking to you like moths to the flame.

 

[Thorn Bird]

Careful Thrawn, that's dangerously close to espousing the belief that true happiness comes from within, not from the people or things around you. If the crazies find out you are that close to being well adjusted they'll start flocking to you like moths to the flame.

that's what happened to me. i was truly content AND happy as a single gal. and then spange came along.

 

[taeric]

Careful Thrawn, that's dangerously close to espousing the belief that true happiness comes from within, not from the people or things around you. If the crazies find out you are that close to being well adjusted they'll start flocking to you like moths to the flame.

And then we'll see just how content you are despite your surroundings.

And what exactly is "true happiness?" Sounds like a tree hugger term to me.

 

[Pandora]

If women are forcefed marriage, it is by women. Which... honestly doesn't surprise me too much.

This is exactly right. Females brainwash eachother. I think it's mostly so they can justify their own decisions. 98% of the time that I'm asked, "when are you having kids?" it's by another woman. Men rarely ask me, and when they do they are rarely suprised by my answer, unlike women. Woman are usually taken aback when I say "I'm not", like I just killed a baby or something. Brainwashed, brainwashed I tell ya.

 

[ZRH]

This is exactly right. Females brainwash eachother. I think it's mostly so they can justify their own decisions. 98% of the time that I'm asked, "when are you having kids?" it's by another woman. Men rarely ask me, and when they do they are rarely suprised by my answer, unlike women. Woman are usually taken aback when I say "I'm not", like I just killed a baby or something. Brainwashed, brainwashed I tell ya.

This is why they arent in charge of anything important.

 

[thrawn]

And then we'll see just how content you are despite your surroundings.

And what exactly is "true happiness?" Sounds like a tree hugger term to me.

and relegating your life, outlook on life, to the supposition that someone or something will alter your perception of reality so drastically that one day you wake up content sounds like what? it sounds like some illogical, pansy-assed bullshit that mr perrault would spew. if you aren't content now, odds are that when you think you've found that person, at some point you are going to want more and/or think you need something else. sounds like a miserable way to go thru life, to me at least.

 

[b_sinning]

Forcefed via Disney, marketing [i.e. Valentines Day, jewelry commercials 'Show her you love her, give her a big effing rock the size of her Mercedes Benz', etc.] and society. 'Always the mrides maid, never the bride'

Does the two months salary for the ring have to be my salary or can I use a Mcdonalds employees salary?

 

[taeric]

and relegating your life, outlook on life, to the supposition that someone or something will alter your perception of reality so drastically that one day you wake up content sounds like what? it sounds like some illogical, pansy-assed bullshit that mr perrault would spew. if you aren't content now, odds are that when you think you've found that person, at some point you are going to want more and/or think you need something else. sounds like a miserable way to go thru life, to me at least.

It sounds like tree hugging bullshit. I'll gladly admit that. Never claimed otherwise, actually.

However, I don't have to have a sense of superiority that my view on life is somehow better than others. I am fully aware that it is just different. And since I come dangerously close to not believing in a god, I'm fine with the thought that happiness, from the self or otherwise, is completely fucking made up.

 

[b_sinning]

I don't believe in churches for myself. They are fine for other people but not for me. Doesn't mean I don't believe in god. I think I have a better realtionship with god than most church people. I can talk to him/her/it directly taking out the annoying middle man.

He doesn't answer that often but he made some damn fine women so I forgive him for that.

 

[my little brony]

you could always pray to Joe Pesci

this reminds me that I haven't been to Mass in a very long time. might change that this sunday

 

[taeric]

you could always pray to Joe Pesci

this reminds me that I haven't been to Mass in a very long time. might change that this sunday

A nice read.

 

[my little brony]

bahahahaha ave maria

 

[reverendsaintjay]

I'm fine with the thought that happiness, from the self or otherwise, is completely fucking made up.

The funny thing is that most of us are fine with this idea. In fact, the whole concept of happiness being a self inflicted idea is something I embrace wholeheartedly.

The question becomes this, if we have the ability to govern our own happiness, why would you ever choose depression/angst/misery/etc?

Take the case of your two friends. You already know how it's going to work out. Your guy friend is going to whip his emotions to a fever pitch then explode all over the unsuspecting girl with a category 5 emotional outburst. Your girl friend is going to continue to pretend she doesn't know how he feels so long as it benefits her in any way, shape or form. You know that this is going to end badly, so you have a choice. You can involve yourself in the whole mess, trying to mitigate the damage at your own expense. Or you can cut them both loose, let the whole thing blow over and come back when things have calmed down. One road leads to happiness, the other way lies madness.

The most liberating thing about realizing that your happiness is your own creation... Realizing that means that other people's happiness is their own responsibility.

 

[taeric]

The funny thing is that most of us are fine with this idea. In fact, the whole concept of happiness being a self inflicted idea is something I embrace wholeheartedly.

I would disagree, happiness is no more self inflicted than the feeling of being hot or cold. It is simply a side effect of personal reflections and outside influences. To claim otherwise is to ignore the feeling of elation one has during such trivial tasks as having sex. (Or winning a game, or any number of other examples)

The question becomes this, if we have the ability to govern our own happiness, why would you ever choose depression/angst/misery/etc?

But that is just it, we do not have the ability to govern our own happiness, merely to influence it. Unless, of course, one is willing to take happy pills and give in to the chemical demands of the body.

Take the case of your two friends. You already know how it's going to work out. Your guy friend is going to whip his emotions to a fever pitch then explode all over the unsuspecting girl with a category 5 emotional outburst. Your girl friend is going to continue to pretend she doesn't know how he feels so long as it benefits her in any way, shape or form. You know that this is going to end badly, so you have a choice. You can involve yourself in the whole mess, trying to mitigate the damage at your own expense. Or you can cut them both loose, let the whole thing blow over and come back when things have calmed down. One road leads to happiness, the other way lies madness.

If you think that merely turning your back on your friends is a way to find happiness, than the more power to you. In a way, this wouldn't surprise me as it is common in most religions and practices, but I will gladly reject it as a selfish view on how to please one's self.

The most liberating thing about realizing that your happiness is your own creation... Realizing that means that other people's happiness is their own responsibility.

You've clearly never helped out a person in need. Or a child that has been abandoned. Or a friend that just needed a little help. Happiness is a gift that you can give yourself, true, but it is also a gift you can help others find.

 

[kiwi]

Does the two months salary for the ring have to be my salary or can I use a Mcdonalds employees salary?

Man, if Knyte had been making what he is now as opposed to when we got married, I could have a much bigger ring.

And just so you guys know, I aboslutely love my wedding ring just the way it is, it's Knyte that wants to get me a bigger diamond a little later down the road. It's not always the girl begging for bigger and better, sometimes the guy just wants to give it to her.