Thread A childs letter for Chikken to answer

Mean Mr. Mustard

Always shouts out something obscene
Sep 30, 2004
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The child awaits you answer, sir.
 
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Dear Billy,

Thank you for writing. I'm not used to getting letters since most of my fellow hobos are largely unintelligible, forget about any shred of literacy. But that is just the way I like it. Companions that you can safely ignore, and tyre-smoked river fish are the highlights of life.

I feel that getting involved with Scouting is an easy (and safe) way in this modern age to get your teeth cut on some of the aspects of hoboing. Sleeping outdoors, building fires, burning things, eating dirty and or/spoiled food, scrounging, working with ropes, and ganking your tent-mates for the good snacks.

You know, in my day it used to be that we could understudy as hobo-initiates with the more seasoned hobos in town, but that's just not the case any more. The old-timers are all gone, and most hobos want nothing to do with kids. The ones that do will probably sell you for, well, let's just say it's not the kind of hot meal you're interested in. The few of us that would be willing to help you out won't since the police and parents take such a dim view of things these days.

Sorry, I'm rambling, after a good stint in Scouting and you graduate high school, the next important step is to enroll in Art School, doesn't matter what for, and take a backpacking trip accross Europe. There you will learn the ins and outs of train stations, sleeping in abandoned rail cars, washing dishes for enough money to catch the next train, ganking sleeping passengers for cash, and washing your shoes in gas station toilets.

Assuming you didn't sell off your return ticket for some bizarre surgery in Europe, you will be well-prepared on your return to the US to freely live the hobo lifestyle.

Hope this finds you well,

Hobo Jim

P.S. - don't work for 7-11, those tools will make you clean toilets and sweep floors, that's women's work
 
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While this thread is LOL, that is totally fake. Every single word is spelled correctly and not something that happens with kids with that handwriting.