08/30/05 News and comment, with elpmis! :) :)

simple

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Sep 30, 2004
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BUSH COMPARES IRAQ WAR TO WWII (GOOD 4 HIM)
With all the white whiney fat bitches complaining about good
old fashion waring, President Bush said Tuesday in Cali
that the U.S. cannot rest until its freedom is secure.
(SAME OLD FUCKING SHIT YOU FGT)

Commemorating the 60th anniversary of the end of World
War II, the president drew comparisons between WWII
and the current war on terror in Iraq:

"As we mark this anniversary, we are again a nation at war.
Once again war came to our shores with a surprise attack
that killed thousands in ... " blah blah blah motherfucker,
hey listen, I've got a comparison: Gas prices are so high
it's like getting fucked in the ass by a huge horse cock.

NOW STFU, BOMB IRAQ, PUNCH FAT BITCHES IN THE FACE
AND LOWER THE FUCKING GAS PRICES SO I CAN AFFORD
AN XBOX 360.

TIGER FOUND ON SATURN'S MOON
HOOOOLY SHIT GUYS THERE'S A HOT SPOT ON ONE OF
SATURN'S MOONS THAT SHOULDN'T BE THERE!

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is located at the south pole of Enceladus, a moon with a
diameter of just 310 miles, scientists said on Tuesday.

The hot spot is unusual because it occurs at the pole (that's the top),
scientists said. Usually, the hottest part of any planet
or moon is around the equator, as is the case with the our
Mother Earth.

"It shouldn't be that warm," said John Spencer, one of the
huge fucking nerds that makes 3 times more than we all do
working on this project.

Look, all I know is this, WHO GIVES A FUCK and secondly
SPEND THE MONEY THE GOVERNMENT BLOWS ON LEARNING
STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS TO MAKE GAS PRICES LOWER.

SAT MATH SCORES HIT A RECORD HIGH
The high school class of 2005 recorded what officials say are
the highest-ever average scores on the math portion of the SAT
college entrance exam.

Seniors, who obviously don't party like we all fucking did back then,
who finished high school last spring scored 520 out of a possible
800 on the math section, 2 points higher than the class of 2004.
Average scores on the verbal section were unchanged at 508,
according to results released Tuesday by the College Board, (the
nonprofit organization that owns the SAT). Numbers also showed
a decrease in percentage of those seniors with STDs BECAUSE THEY
WERE ALL STUDYING MATH LIKE DORK ASS BITCHES AND NOT
GETTING DRUNK, WILD, AND PLUGGIN SOME HOLE.

Below is a snippit from the Math poriton of the SAT Exam

satquestion.jpg











AND THAT'S YOUR USELESS FORUMS NEWS IIIIIIIII'M ELPMIS!
 
ChikkenNoodul said:
High School kids are way too 'STRAIT EDJ 4 LYFE D00D' these days
yeah dates these days consist of power leveling each other through Droknar's Forge in Guild Wars, playing some Yahoo Dominoes, and then sniffing bullies computer's for open ports