Food Beer bread!

gee

Finally a new goddamn title
Sep 29, 2012
17,100
18,884
473
Halifax
Marklar
₥35,215
Fuck wonder "bread", here's how to make something 10x better.

Step #1 : Grab a measuring cup, pour in 1/2 cup of milk, heat it to lukewarm (about 30 seconds in the microwave), stir in a teaspoon of sugar, and dump in the yeast.

laVStNI.jpg


Step #2 : Grab your Kitchenaid bowl, and add 4 cups flour and 5 teaspoons sugar. I don't sift my flour, but I make sure to "fluff it up" with the measuring cup when I'm taking it from my flour container, and scoop up "fluffy" flour. If that makes any sense. At some point I'll weigh my flour and get a proper weight #.

XSzhtNQ.jpg


Step #3 : Select your beer. I'm going with an Alexander Keith's so-called IPA which someone left at my house some time ago. Pour this into a large measuring cup and add 1.5tsp of salt to it - prepare for a foam explosion. Once that dies down, microwave it for a minute to bring it up to lukewarm temperature.

1Vy2dBr.jpg


Step #4 : Measure out 2 tablespoons of butter. Fuck that, tare a bowl and weigh out 30 grams of butter. Much easier. Melt it in the microwave.

EAblnbM.jpg


At this point, the yeast is probably trying to climb out of the measuring cup. This is good:

EfHEYGs.jpg


Step #5 : Throw the beer in on top of the flour, followed by the butter, followed by the yeast mixture. I stir everything up by holding the Kitchenaid kneading hook in my hand and getting everything incorporated, but a wooden spoon does the job much better. Once everything's somewhat stirred together, throw it on the kitchenaid and knead for 10 minutes or so:

uByqLWB.jpg


If it comes apart an sticks to the sides of the bowl, add more flour.

Step #6 : Grease a mixing bowl, throw in the kneaded dough, and cover with plastic wrap:

l6bHMWc.jpg


Wait for this to double in size.

To be continued. While the bread rises, I'm gonna fulfill my canada day duty and run out for a smoked meat sandwich and a poutine.
 
Watching thread with genuine interest

Here's a couple things I've discovered over the years that might be good time savers for you:

Proofing yeast? Who needs it. Just toss that shit in with the rest of the dry goods. Same thing with melting butter. I just slice it into pats as I weigh it and add it to the dough that way. The action of the mixer make the chunks disappear like magic.
 
kwF771w.jpg


Carried out my canadian responsibility. Smoked meat poutine :drool:

And the bread has risen, probably to triple size. I'm sure it'll be fine.

HUJzHer.jpg


Step #7 : Punch that shit down. Knead it a bit by hand to break up any large air bubbles.

z5vCPu2.jpg


Step #8 : Grease two bread pans. Divide the dough into 4. Knead each piece individually by hand, pinch it into a nice shape with a smooth surface, flatten it out a bit and drop it into the bread pan.

Cover with plastic and wait for the loaves to rise.

PoBIOTB.jpg


To be continued in another little while.
 
I LOVE BREAD THREADS. Thanks Gee. :heart:

I have a ciabatta one I'm building for the article thread. Nothing smells better than a house cooking bread. :drool:
 
What about beer cheese dip? :drool:

I have a feeling I wouldn't go for that. It's the taste of beer I find horrible. Yep the German family members are all rolling in their graves - oh wait maybe not since they didn't even care about us so I might not be a total disgrace after all.

I agree nothing like bread baking in the house. Only thing that rivals for me is a home made pizza (pizza dough from scratch). Especially with bacon on top.......

I have a great honey oatmeal bread I do - warm with butter and sea salt sprinkled and it tastes like dessert.
 
I have a feeling I wouldn't go for that. It's the taste of beer I find horrible. Yep the German family members are all rolling in their graves - oh wait maybe not since they didn't even care about us so I might not be a total disgrace after all.

I agree nothing like bread baking in the house. Only thing that rivals for me is a home made pizza (pizza dough from scratch). Especially with bacon on top.......

I have a great honey oatmeal bread I do - warm with butter and sea salt sprinkled and it tastes like dessert.
Take pics and make a thread in the Articles forum! You can get a free shirt or something. :)
 
Step #7 : Preheat oven to 375F. Once the bread's nicely risen (to about the top level of the bread pans) then chuck it in the oven. Bread's done when it feels hollow when you knock on the bottom of it, takes about 30 minutes.

Pull the bread out of the pans right away, and sit 'em on a cooling rack.

1syKQNT.jpg


Wait for them to cool - don't slice into hot bread unless you eat it right away. Grab the bread knife and some softened butter, and mmm...
 
How to cook (mostly) from scratch with a 5 year old hanging all over you? ;)
My next door neighbors' daughter is 8, and she's learning how to bake.

We made cherry pound cake here once. She separated eggs, measured all the ingredients, ran the kitchenaid and the whole shot. Completely blew me away.
 
My next door neighbors' daughter is 8, and she's learning how to bake.

We made cherry pound cake here once. She separated eggs, measured all the ingredients, ran the kitchenaid and the whole shot. Completely blew me away.

Dominic helps, but there are times where he's more of a hindrance than an assistance. Also obviously, with baking, you don't want a five year old around the oven.
 
Dominic helps, but there are times where he's more of a hindrance than an assistance. Also obviously, with baking, you don't want a five year old around the oven.
Yeah. I ran the oven in this case.

I gotta thank my mom for teaching me how to cook - she constantly had me in the kitchen helping her. Blows my mind how many people I know that can't cook.
 
My next door neighbors' daughter is 8, and she's learning how to bake.

We made cherry pound cake here once. She separated eggs, measured all the ingredients, ran the kitchenaid and the whole shot. Completely blew me away.

My 9 year old mastered muffins this summer. Even put them in and out of the oven.
 
This sounds fawkin deelish n shit, but I'm afraid of making teh breads and failing. Sooooo many steps, damnnnn
 
That hasn't been done yet! :p

LOL I'll think about it.

I plan to teach him to cook once he can read better. He helps stir, pour, turns off and on mixers and even helps me pat down dough for pizza, puts toppings on etc but he's not quite there to do much more. Baking is easy though so I definitely want to teach him.

That bread looks good!!!!!