Baby Why does God hate me?

Would this be a good time to mention that turtles are carriers of salmonella and with younger kids could be very dangerous?

http://www.cdc.gov/Features/TurtlesSalmonella/

Just thought I would throw that out there.

eeek!! whaaat??

its cool, Kiko doesnt go near this beast. the grounds here are huge so this bastard roams everywhere... i never know where it is. its fucking horrible.
i need to beat it like a pinata.
 
turtles do make awesome pets though. purely because they'll live like 100 years... so when you're 80 you can be like "yea, my mom gave me that when i was 6.".
 
someone asked me to post my hair on FB so i thought id share the pic with you guys here. im full blown bulldyke.
also, please prepare your anusez


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