So I've been working in a building we're completely rebuilding the past few weeks and keep running into a electrician named Jimmy and his helper that they call Skittles. They are like a modern day Laurel and Hardy except Jimmy is a funny but extremely redneck guy and Skittles is a very white dopey/dorky guy that is extremely slow. He's not retarded but one more generation of inbreeding and you'll get Forest Gump. I had a long discussion with a guy I have been working with the other day on how Skittles is a white version of Mushmouth from Fat Albert. He's really nice, out going, and tons of energy but we can only understand every 4th word or so. But he's always so nice so we're all friendly to him.
Well this morning Jimmy is pushing a fish tape through a conduit in the room next to the closet I'm working in and it gets stuck, so Jimmy sends Skittles under the building to try to help him figure out what is going on. After a few minutes of yelling back and forth they fall into an almost who's on first level of banter in which Jimmy is yelling into the pipes at one end and skitttles under the building is yelling in the other end while they try to figure out which pipe is which. After about 10 minutes it becomes painfully aware they they may not have the same definitions of right and left. So Jimmy start Yelling at Skittles to grab a pipe in each hand and whatever hand has a watch around the wrist is your left hand so use that to identify the pipes. After another 10 minutes of even more confusion he gives up that idea and demands skittles yell directly into pipe to help him id it. After a few more minutes of confusion and more people start hanging around to figure out why the other workers around the area can't stop laughing Jimmy starts saying he thinks Skittles is just yelling at the pipes and not in them so yells just put your mouth around the end of the pipe and act like your trying to play it so he can figure it out. Of course it doesn't help and the whole time this extremely funny banter is going on Jimmy is chugging down a huge energy drink and starting to turn bright red from frustration. So he tries the watch idea again before finally calling Skittles back up so he can verify without a doubt that Skittles knows his right from his left. A few minutes later Skittles walks in and we all notice that he wears his watch on his right wrist and we all die laughing. So Jimmy takes Skittles aside to apologize and then sends Skittles back under the building after he writes Right and left on the back of the guy's hands. Of course we all laugh at this.
It's a this point I off handily ask Jimmy why do they call him Skittles. He replies totally serious "Oh that was his rapper name" We all go "huh?" So he explains that before Skittles became a helper he tried his luck at being a rapper but he never could make it because he wasn't bright enough to freestyle and well no one could under stand a damn word he said plus he couldn't dance. By the time he finishes explaining grown men are crying holding their sides. It's at this point he sees my eyes light up and he starts yelling at me that if I ask him to rap he'll kick my ass because they have a no rapping on work sites policy due to the last person that asked him to rap. He explained the last time Skittles started throwing out lines a worker fell off a ladder from laughing so hard so it was now banned.
Sometimes you just can't make shit like that up.
Off that conversation alone I could make a hit sitcom about the dumb failed white rapper stuck in a job with super redneck electricians and the videos would fly off Walmart shelves in the south. At worst it would make an amusing reality tv show.
Well this morning Jimmy is pushing a fish tape through a conduit in the room next to the closet I'm working in and it gets stuck, so Jimmy sends Skittles under the building to try to help him figure out what is going on. After a few minutes of yelling back and forth they fall into an almost who's on first level of banter in which Jimmy is yelling into the pipes at one end and skitttles under the building is yelling in the other end while they try to figure out which pipe is which. After about 10 minutes it becomes painfully aware they they may not have the same definitions of right and left. So Jimmy start Yelling at Skittles to grab a pipe in each hand and whatever hand has a watch around the wrist is your left hand so use that to identify the pipes. After another 10 minutes of even more confusion he gives up that idea and demands skittles yell directly into pipe to help him id it. After a few more minutes of confusion and more people start hanging around to figure out why the other workers around the area can't stop laughing Jimmy starts saying he thinks Skittles is just yelling at the pipes and not in them so yells just put your mouth around the end of the pipe and act like your trying to play it so he can figure it out. Of course it doesn't help and the whole time this extremely funny banter is going on Jimmy is chugging down a huge energy drink and starting to turn bright red from frustration. So he tries the watch idea again before finally calling Skittles back up so he can verify without a doubt that Skittles knows his right from his left. A few minutes later Skittles walks in and we all notice that he wears his watch on his right wrist and we all die laughing. So Jimmy takes Skittles aside to apologize and then sends Skittles back under the building after he writes Right and left on the back of the guy's hands. Of course we all laugh at this.
It's a this point I off handily ask Jimmy why do they call him Skittles. He replies totally serious "Oh that was his rapper name" We all go "huh?" So he explains that before Skittles became a helper he tried his luck at being a rapper but he never could make it because he wasn't bright enough to freestyle and well no one could under stand a damn word he said plus he couldn't dance. By the time he finishes explaining grown men are crying holding their sides. It's at this point he sees my eyes light up and he starts yelling at me that if I ask him to rap he'll kick my ass because they have a no rapping on work sites policy due to the last person that asked him to rap. He explained the last time Skittles started throwing out lines a worker fell off a ladder from laughing so hard so it was now banned.
Sometimes you just can't make shit like that up.
Off that conversation alone I could make a hit sitcom about the dumb failed white rapper stuck in a job with super redneck electricians and the videos would fly off Walmart shelves in the south. At worst it would make an amusing reality tv show.
Tropical is good though, Skittles are supposed to be fruit flavors, not chocolate.