Official pics thread for the ATL lunchmeat

Not to promote the thread topic now, but look what he's doing this very moment: :heart:

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Herb Biscuits from Scratch

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A medley of a whole chicken with potatoes rosemary (thats how you get in my pants) and probably oil and other stuff... smells yummy.

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This is what it's supposed to look like when done, I tried to get a good pic of it in the oven but my camera and glasses kept fogging up.

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Current Bane Status
 
Whoa the oven window is dirty. :barf: Also the meal is tame for his standards, he can pump out some awesome complicated meals.
 
Damn that looks good. Chim made chicken parmasan with pesto tortellini and vodka mariara.
 
Him "I bet you've already slept with a man."
Tucker "Alright, come on man--I invented Tucker Max Drunk, but not even Tucker Max Drunk makes you switch teams."
Him "How many women have you been with?"
Tucker "I don't know, about [number]."
Him "Oh yeah, I bet you've fucked a man."
Tucker [Getting obviously frustrated] "How??"
Him "I have three words for you: Post Op Transsexual."

It took three seconds for the full meaning and significance of that statement to filter through my drunken brain. Then came the first stage of loss: Denial.

Tucker "What? Get the fuck out of here. I've never fucked one of those."
Him "You wouldn't know."
Tucker "Man, give me some credit."
Him "Have you ever slept with a woman who told you she couldn't naturally lubricate, that she had to use KY?"

Oh no.

Tucker "Well...yeah...two, actually."
Him "Uh-huh."
Tucker "No. No way. Stacey was one, I went to college with her, she was definitely a woman. Everything about her was woman. And she was like 17 when we fucked. You can't be post-op that young."
Him "Probably not. What about the other one?"

Please no...

Tucker "Uhhh, I met her in Miami..."
Him "What did she do?"
Tucker "She was a stripper."
Him "Did she have fake tits?"
Tucker "Yes."

This isn't happening. He is fucking with me.

Tucker "No, man, she was not a fucking man. She didn't have an Adams apple."
Him "That is a two hour outpatient surgery. Easily done. Cheap too."
Tucker "But it was...she had a pussy. IT FELT LIKE A PUSSY."
Him "Surgery is amazing these days. She probably even had a clit."

WHAT THE FUCK??

Tucker "But she was soft. Her skin I mean. She felt like a girl."
Him "You're smart. You know what large amounts of estrogen do to the male body, don't you?"
Tucker "But what about her voice? She didn't sound like those absurd trannies on Springer."
Him "Estrogen. And maybe even vocal chord surgery. It would make sense if she has a lucrative stripping or escorting gig to protect."

I just stood there, too shocked to move, trying to recall every detail about her to refute his argument.

Tucker "Wait, wait, wait..."
Him "She gave great head, didn't she?"
Tucker "She was a stripper! They give head for a living!"

THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING.

Him "Was she tall? Taller than you?"
Tucker "Yeah, but I've dated lots of girls who were taller than me."
Him "But I bet none of them had hands as big as hers."

I AM GOING TO VOMIT.

Him "Did you have anal sex with her?"
Tucker "Yeah."
Him "You ever had anal sex with other girls?"
Tucker "Yeah."
Him "Felt a little different with her, didn't it?"

Oh dear merciful Jesus.

He was right. I distinctly remember that.

Tucker "FUCK THIS!! NO FUCKING WAY THAT I FUCKED A MAN!!"
Him "I think you did."
Tucker "SHUT UP SHUT UP--I CAN'T BE HEARING THIS!!!"
Him "Don't feel bad, this happens to lots of guys. You'd be shocked."
Tucker "OH MOTHERFUCK!! NO WAY. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING I AM NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION!! WHAT IN DEAR GOD IS HAPPENING??? I DID NOT FUCK A FAKE WOMAN!"

I was in SHOCK. I could not sleep or function for the next two days, as I went over every detail I could remember about this "girl." I am still undecided about her. Yes, he made good points, but everything about her I recall as being feminine. The way she smelled, her touch, her appearance, everything. And it was a nice strip club where I met her, Rachel's in West Palm Beach. Don't they check for these things?
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Spange Monkee said:
some how, I didn't upload this pic the first time around.

SNWS SNWS SNWS SNWS SNWS SNWS SNWS SNWS
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Bah. Eating sushi off the back of some naked bitch is so nineteen-ninety-nine, and I think everyone here knows why you had the tremendous dildo out. The important thing is knowing what the flarn-flarn-filth Drool is looking at and why the lights are on in the middle of the day.
 
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