FYI Pewp in this thread when you're pewpin

NukesII said:
I ate 3 mandarins and two flax seed keto wraps.
Won't be long now.
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I think what really kills Brussels is they are often picked before they get a few frosts and therefore are bitter. Brussels can/should have no bitterness and can be delightful steamed and served with a sauce or just some seasoned butter(or OvO, olive Oil), I bought 7-8 large stems from a man up the road - totally sweet and tender.
 
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I normally hate milk but I had An Cookie last night before bed and for whatever reason felt like I needed some milk to wash it down, so my lactose intolerant ass is paying for it this morning - bless my seasoned rectal vault for at least waiting until I woke up to allow my colon to begin its reign of terror.
 
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august said:
I normally hate milk but I had An Cookie last night before bed and for whatever reason felt like I needed some milk to wash it down, so my lactose intolerant ass is paying for it this morning - bless my seasoned rectal vault for at least waiting until I woke up to allow my colon to begin it's reign of terror.
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Had a near miss like that the other day, had to tuck-point my crack with a handful of kleenex before moving.
"SHeet maaahn, the sheets are still clean!"
 
wetwillie said:
Had a near miss like that the other day, had to tuck-point my crack with a handful of kleenex before moving.
"SHeet maaahn, the sheets are still clean!"
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my alarm went off at 7, as per usual, and I normally snooze it once or twice, but as soon as my eyes opened I knew today would NOT be a snooze day. BUT - Jason leaves for work around 7-7:10, so he was still home. I got the kiddo up and we made it downstairs by about 7:05, Jason finished up, said goodbye, and left, and I ran to the basement toilet in the laundry room bc I didn't have the time or energy to get that baby into the pack and play to contain her, nor to get upstairs to either of the other two legitimate bathrooms, so best I can do is the toilet where I can leave the door open and still see she's on the couch. she's chill, eating her fiber pouch & watching Cocomelon, so I begin to unleash The Evil Within.
JUST THEN - Jason apparently forgot his phone. in the laundry room. where I was shitting. not a normal shit, but the sulfuric alligator shit of a lactose intolerant person who flew too close to the milky sun. he retrieved his phone as I yelped "I'msosorryIthoughtyouweregoneandIcouldn'tholditanymoreit'sterribledon'tbreatheinohgodI'msosorryI'msosorry" and as he ran back out the door, he was laughing and yelled "I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"
 
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august said:
I normally hate milk but I had An Cookie last night before bed and for whatever reason felt like I needed some milk to wash it down, so my lactose intolerant ass is paying for it this morning - bless my seasoned rectal vault for at least waiting until I woke up to allow my colon to begin its reign of terror.
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RAINING MUD
FROM A LACTOSE-AIDED SKY
SHARTING ITS HORROR
CLOGGING MY TURLET
NOW I SHALL REIGN IN MUD
 
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