Ontopic RIP Thread

I meant for legal reasons. I get your intentions. I’m sure Immi does too.
Oh right.
The aforementioned is artistic proclivity southern single mama something that means regular life and also ends in "ivity" but doesn't disparage the usual...
 
Ok. So. Long ago, my mother in law became convinced someone at Omaha Steaks started prank calling her soon after she purchased one of their packaged deals. Even though they never said anything, it was mostly hang up calls according to her, she knew it was them. So she started blowing a whistle into the phone randomly when answering calls. Trust me when I tell ya it's loud.
No matter how many times we explained robo calls etc. She wouldn't have any of it. It was Omaha Steaks and that was that.
...
Look what showed up as a gift with condolences.
20210910_150036.jpg
 
Ok. So. Long ago, my mother in law became convinced someone at Omaha Steaks started prank calling her soon after she purchased one of their packaged deals. Even though they never said anything, it was mostly hang up calls according to her, she knew it was them. So she started blowing a whistle into the phone randomly when answering calls. Trust me when I tell ya it's loud.
No matter how many times we explained robo calls etc. She wouldn't have any of it. It was Omaha Steaks and that was that.
...
Look what showed up as a gift with condolences.
View attachment 14849
That is fan-fucking-tastic.

edit: I'm still laughing.
 
Gravy for Omaha reference.

I learned valuable things growing up in Omaha. How to drink, number one. And a Midwestern work ethic that stuck, hard.

When I moved to Oregon, I got hired immediately at a distribution warehouse for the largest shoe company in the known universe. On my third day, I was sent to a doctor’s office for a urinalysis. A week passed and I was called into my boss’s office and they started grilling me.

It turned out that other order pickers thought I was on meth since my count was killing them. I was operating on Omaha mode, not laid back Oregon low-bar setting mode. Then they told me I had to go to the company store and buy their brand because wearing Reeboks to work wasn’t a good look.

I promptly told them to gnaw on my bag, and to go nice and deep so their molars made contact. If I found that job in a week, I’d find a better one easy enough, and I did.
 
Norm Macdonald Bump GIF