Food So Has Anyone Brewed Beer Before?

So a friend of mine had a package stolen off their doorstep, and we're trying to think of a good way to get even with the fucks. The Mark Rober method costs too damn much, pondering it a bit I've come up with my next homebrew project.

Throw something noxious in a nice looking wine bottle, plus a bit of sugar and yeast to prime it (and I'd over-prime it so it foams everywhere). Let it ferment for a couple weeks, then pack it up all nice in a box with bubble wrap and leave it on their doorstep.
 
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After a chat with some other like-minded assholes on discord, we've decided that a champagne bottle is best because you can safely pressurize those to "shit's gonna go everywhere" pressure. Throw in some soap too so it foams everywhere.

The big question is what to throw in there for the smell. Deer piss? fish sauce? dollar store perfume? some kind of hippie essential oil bullshit?
 
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Hunters skunk scent, etc.

Also it sounds like they know who did it, in which case bringing the fucker within an inch of their life, or at least making them believe that's where they are, is far better than some freshman level stinky champagne.
 
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After a chat with some other like-minded assholes on discord, we've decided that a champagne bottle is best because you can safely pressurize those to "shit's gonna go everywhere" pressure. Throw in some soap too so it foams everywhere.

The big question is what to throw in there for the smell. Deer piss? fish sauce? dollar store perfume? some kind of hippie essential oil bullshit?
Go to feed store - get some liquid fly attractant. Only need an ounce to put in a gallon. So fucking nasty - probably made of all the suggestions above.
 
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Hunters skunk scent, etc.

Also it sounds like they know who did it, in which case bringing the fucker within an inch of their life, or at least making them believe that's where they are, is far better than some freshman level stinky champagne.
They don't know who did it.
 
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Also it's assumed that the thieves are renting their home, so doing anything that'd permanently stink out the house would probably just fuck over their landlord.
 
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Also it's assumed that the thieves are renting their home, so doing anything that'd permanently stink out the house would probably just fuck over their landlord.

Ah. Wouldn't permanently stink it out.
A lot of the hunters scent stuff is made to wash off without too much trouble. Most jobs and wives demand it.
 
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The money some of those guys spend on clothes and gear and stuff they probably make it so it doesn't stain things either.