Bad Jokes

[tre]

A pirate walks into a bar. The Bartender asks him why he has a steering wheel in his pants.
The pirate replied "Arrr, its driving me nuts!"

 

[Jehannum]

 

[Jehannum]

I want to go buy a Vietnamese sandwich, but they Bahn Mi from going outside

 

[Jehannum]

I asked @AppleTurkey how I could stop my addiction to dad-jokes. She said, "whatever means necessary".

I said, "no it doesn't".

 

[Domon]

I want to go buy a Vietnamese sandwich, but they Bahn Mi from going outside

I said that in a Vietnamese accent in my head and it was perfect

 

[Jehannum]

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Easy: put it in the oven until its Bill Withers.

(RIP)

 

[Jehannum]

I think my computer's drunk. It keeps taking screenshots.

 

[Jehannum]

Oh c'mon @wetwille, that one made you quack up just a little bit, admit it.

 

[Floptical]

Just spent $300 on a limo and discovered that fee doesn't cover the driver. Can't believe I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

 

[Jehannum]

I should have named my son Kelvin, so that everybody else would know he's an absolute unit.

 

[Floptical]

I should have named my son Kelvin, so that everybody else would know he's an absolute unit.

 

[Jehannum]

Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy or paranoid is gaslighting, and it's a dick move.

Convincing your girlfriend she's a robot with artificially implanted memories and emotions is bladerunning, and it's a Philip K. Dick move.

 

[nukes]

Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy or paranoid is gaslighting, and it's a dick move.

Convincing your girlfriend she's a robot with artificially implanted memories and emotions is bladerunning, and it's a Philip K. Dick move.

Rachael was pretty. Fairly robotic acting job tho.
10/10

 

[hydra]

What does a recovering alcoholic noodle lover order at a bar? A ramen coke.

 

[hydra]

I'm 365 and change.

 

[adi]

hydra babaaaa

 

[wetwillie]

Oh c'mon @wetwille, that one made you quack up just a little bit, admit it.

The thought of a withered pecker made me sad.

 

[Jehannum]

I found a pen that writes underwater.

It also writes other words.

 

[Jehannum]

A man was delighted when he realized that, after his house was burgled, the thief took all his lamps.

 

[Strings]