I was chicken-clucking(farting gently with every footstep) for a while today. f'm!
WTF So I just dick'd my butt
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Mean Mr. Mustard
Always shouts out something obscene
It's for ladies to maintain the illusion their shit don't stink.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
I don't think "the ladies" have the grace or poise to deny farts.
You know damn well I have absolutely zero poise and grace. Be glad I tried to use lotion to cover it up; only did it to keep my job.
I had pizza last week and the gas that followed was pretty bad. At one point the dog was cuddled up by me and I farted. It was super smelly. She looked at me then got up and walked away. 
I know I’ve said it before-
My first ex-wife claimed to have never farted (as of age 25 or so) and only took a dump every four of five days. I totally believe it too.
The second ex-wife was a fucking fart blossom.
Seems like the non-shitter would have had the nastiest gas from teurds percolating in there. Science, always a new mystery.
I am just realizing how much the hiring process is painful, expensive, and annoying. How do people do this every day at a large business?
It was so bad your job was at stake ?
Yay vegan poot patrol !
Did they complain to HR that HR didn't change their britches or what ?
Did they ever fumigate ?
Was the building condemned ?
It was nothing that dramatic, but my office neighbor started telling the employees about it because he thought it was funny.
I'm giving the hiring process a couple of weeks. If I don't get any good applicants, I'll just go back to 1-man operation and hire out subcontractors for jobs and remote support.
Computer skills seem to be at an all time low. Ironic AF.
Where you " calling audibles " with your butt ?
Seems like an efficiency solution .
Speaking of piling on irony , a friend with a music school is going back to school to learn to code because music is boring now .