Bad Jokes

My Grandpa told me he was getting stronger as he got older.
"What do you mean Grandpa?"
"Because when I was younger I could never push my boner down. Now I can".
 
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Two gay guys are in the shower and the phone rings.
"Hold on, I'll get it. Don't cum yet, alright? Don't cum, wait till I get back."
"Ok."
When he gets back into the shower there's cum all over the walls running down.
"Man, I told you not to cum yet!..damn!"
"I didn't, I farted."
 
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Little Johnny runs into the garden..."Dad, Grandma's fallen asleep on the couch and her dressing gowns opened and she's got a prawn between her legs!"
Dad goes into the house and says "No, son, that's not a prawn, that's her xxxxoris"
Johnny looks confused and says " Well, it tastes like a prawn!"
 
On hearing her elderly grandfather died, Katie went to her 98yr old grans house.
When she asked how he died, gran repied, "He had a heart attack during sunday morning sex",
Katie was aghast at her 2 grandparents risking their lives making love.
"we do it to the church bells. Nice and slow. In on the ding, out on the dong",
she paused to wipe away a tear,
"He'd still be alive if the fucking ice cream truck hadn't came round".
 
Daughter made some cupcakes yesterday, but the top fell off of the food coloring while she was making the frosting.

I said they tasted good, but I dyed a little on the inside.
 
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