Ontopic A Thread About Butt Mustard, For Those Who Drive Automobiles

Status
Not open for further replies.
No, I don't get why trucks are the only ones that get "oh you gotta small dick" It used to be for sports cars, but now its trucks. Why don't ricers get that stigma? Why doesn't any other modder get that?
I was typing a response to this but Jehannum nailed it.

I think it's a safe assumption that if you've got "I'D RATHER BE CUMMIN THAN STROKIN" plastered across the back of your Dodge 3500, you aren't doing much cummin'. Well, unless you're picking up teenagers with daddy issues.
 
  • Gravy
Reactions: Jehannum
It's also the mall-crawler aspect of the whole thing. I know yours isn't, but there are a lot of brodozers out there.

I look at an old truck and see something that's been used for its intended purpose - hauling shit to and fro.

I look at a brodozer that's got pristine paint, a tonneau cover, jacked 5 feet in the air, on wheels and tires that can only hurt the fuel economy, and see something that someone's using to display its owner ostentatiously. A peacock strutting around.

They all have tattoos too. Bone-heads.
 
It's also the mall-crawler aspect of the whole thing. I know yours isn't, but there are a lot of brodozers out there.

I look at an old truck and see something that's been used for its intended purpose - hauling shit to and fro.

I look at a brodozer that's got pristine paint, a tonneau cover, jacked 5 feet in the air, on wheels and tires that can only hurt the fuel economy, and see something that someone's using to display its owner ostentatiously. A peacock strutting around.

Latest fad seems to be those light bars that go all the way across the cab with about 6 bazillion candlepower.
 
They all have tattoos too. Bone-heads.
Tribal tattoos, of course.
And they spend way too much money at GNC.
And they spend way too much money on t-shirts and ball caps.
And they won't shut the fuck up about UFC. Or worse, they won't shut the fuck up about their own MMA training they're apparently doing, and how it's so much better than whatever UFC fighter lost a couple nights before.
And they wear half a can of body spray.
And they get all pissy and threaten to beat your ass when you make fun of their shitty/illegal parking job.
 
  • Gravy
Reactions: Jehannum and nukes
Latest fad seems to be those light bars that go all the way across the cab with about 6 bazillion candlepower.
Fuck those goddamn things, which brings me to the next thing I hate: Jeep owners.

HOLY SHIT IT'S SNOWING OUT I BETTER TURN ON 100,000,000 LUMENS OF PIERCING LED LIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING TRAFFIC
 
  • Gravy
Reactions: plot and HipHugHer
Fuck those goddamn things, which brings me to the next thing I hate: Jeep owners.

HOLY SHIT IT'S SNOWING OUT I BETTER TURN ON 100,000,000 LUMENS OF PIERCING LED LIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING TRAFFIC
Don't you have a flashlight or two that you could reasonably retaliate with?
 
I used to drive a nice truck. It was classy, but not stock. I towed things with it and loaded up the back end quite a few times. 2wd tho because I live in socal where there's literally no need for a 4wd truck on the freeways. I loved that truck. But it was huge. There were so many parking lots I couldn't use because the tires would be on both lines, U-turns were impossible in major metropolitan areas, and I had to help everyone move their shit with my truck that got 15 mpg on a good day. Fuck that noise.

Now I drive a Ford Focus Hatchback.

I regret not getting the manual, otherwise I love the small car thing.
 
I used to drive a nice truck. It was classy, but not stock. I towed things with it and loaded up the back end quite a few times. 2wd tho because I live in socal where there's literally no need for a 4wd truck on the freeways. I loved that truck. But it was huge. There were so many parking lots I couldn't use because the tires would be on both lines, U-turns were impossible in major metropolitan areas, and I had to help everyone move their shit with my truck that got 15 mpg on a good day. Fuck that noise.

Now I drive a Ford Focus Hatchback.

I regret not getting the manual, otherwise I love the small car thing.

I did the same thing when I got rid of my Ram quad cab for the Landrover. So much nicer being able to park and go downtown.
 
I used to drive a nice truck. It was classy, but not stock. I towed things with it and loaded up the back end quite a few times. 2wd tho because I live in socal where there's literally no need for a 4wd truck on the freeways. I loved that truck. But it was huge. There were so many parking lots I couldn't use because the tires would be on both lines, U-turns were impossible in major metropolitan areas, and I had to help everyone move their shit with my truck that got 15 mpg on a good day. Fuck that noise.

Now I drive a Ford Focus Hatchback.

I regret not getting the manual, otherwise I love the small car thing.

I wish Nissan, Toyota, etal. still made the truly small trucks. The "small" shit now is at least midsize.

They'd do everything you need to do living in a city but still easy to get around, park, etc. The extended cabs could fit my 6'2" frame comfortably and still make a U-turn on a city Street, fit down an alley with dumpsters on one side, parallel park in a standard spot, etc.
 
  • Gravy
Reactions: Hoff Kinkmeister
Status
Not open for further replies.