I asked Kiwi if she wanted to split this with me for dessert tonight

[KNYTE]

She'd be a fool to turn it down.

http://uselessforums.com/picture.php?albumid=11&pictureid=237

I like where this is going. Seriously. Check my user title.

[SemperFly]

not bad

I wonder how much those boobs cost

[hawk82]

Which half did you want? Are we talking split down the middle or across?

[KNYTE]

Which half did you want? Are we talking split down the middle or across?

I figured we'd just fight over the pieces we liked best like we usually do.

[b_sinning]

It would probably be like trying to motorboat two basketballs.

[April40]

I figured we'd just fight over the pieces we liked best like we usually do.

:lol: I can totally see you two doing that. One of my favorite couples ever I tell ya. :lol:

[kiwi]

:lol: I can totally see you two doing that. One of my favorite couples ever I tell ya. :lol:

Why does everyone think we argue all the time? We really don't. Sometimes we don't talk to each other at all.

[fly]

Why does everyone think we argue all the time? We really don't. Sometimes we don't talk to each other at all.

:lol:

[April40]

Why does everyone think we argue all the time? We really don't. Sometimes we don't talk to each other at all.

OMFG HAHAHHAH

You guys don't really argue; its more like play fighting... cracks me up. Its rather fucking cute. I love it.

[KNYTE]

:lol: I can totally see you two doing that. One of my favorite couples ever I tell ya. :lol:

The problem is that we both like the same parts. If you know what I mean and I think you do. :hi2u:

[Onnotangu]

she needs a ham sandwhich.

[w_a_w]

she needs a ham sandwhich.

looks pretty damned skippy to me as is

[ERage]

Take away all that airbrushing and photo tweaking and I bet she's not so hot. It'd be like turning all the lights up bright at a strip club :eek:

[SemperFly]

Take away all that airbrushing and photo tweaking and I bet she's not so hot. It'd be like turning all the lights up bright at a strip club :eek:

and the fake tits

[Sarcasmo]

Take the face. It's buttery.

[Onnotangu]

Take the face. It's buttery.

indeed

[KNYTE]

You know how I know you guys are gay?...

[Onnotangu]

You know how I know you guys are gay?...and she is too...pink for me.

[SemperFly]

the face is just fine

as are the legs

and the ass

I'm just not a big fan of store-bought boobs

[ERage]

the face is just fine

as are the legs

and the ass

I'm just not a big fan of store-bought boobs

buy one, get the second half off!

[KNYTE]

Ok, any one of you, right now honestly tell me that if she walked up to in a bar or something and said "Would you like to buy me a drink?" and things went from there that you would indeed NOT hit that.

You ALL know you would, and you'd enjoy the hell out of it too.

[Valve1080i]

Who's saying they wouldn't?

[SemperFly]

yeah, saying I don't like fake tits is not the same as saying I'd kick her out of bed

[fly]

Her elbows are pointy.

[April40]

I don't know... her elbows are definitely too pointy.


Edit: beaten.

[SemperFly]

I don't know... her elbows are definitely too pointy.


Edit: beaten.

which reminds me, an hour ago I saw a bumper sticker on the back of a cop car that said THERES NO EXCUSE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE


apparently there is

[Onnotangu]

Ok, any one of you, right now honestly tell me that if she walked up to in a bar or something and said "Would you like to buy me a drink?" and things went from there that you would indeed NOT hit that.

You ALL know you would, and you'd enjoy the hell out of it too.

I would not. for a woman that fine would be a red flag to me..woman that hot hitting on Homer simpson? either everyone else is dead or she thinks I have money. either way fuck no..besides...even her boobies look shopped.

[Sp`ange]

http://uselessforums.com/picture.php?albumid=29&pictureid=255

[Onnotangu]

I'll buy that for a dollar

[ChikkenNoodul]

My answer would be "Heck no, I wouldn't like to buy you a drink - I'd have to give up one of mine, pfft"

[SemperFly]

oh I missed that part


while I wouldn't refuse an encounter with this chick there's no fucking way I'd buy a drink for some bitch that walks up and asks if I'd like to buy her a damn drink. what the fuck, how is that acceptable come-on strategy? either I buy her a drink of my own accord or she buys me one of her own accord. who the fuck came up with that retarded idea that a chick should ask a guy to buy her a drink instead of just sitting down and starting a goddamn conversation?

bullshit, I wouldn't want anything to do with a flaky sausagewallet that approaches guys with the tact of a five dollar whore

[April40]

Wanna buy me a drink?

[SemperFly]

only if you let fly toss my salad

[w_a_w]

oh I missed that part


while I wouldn't refuse an encounter with this chick there's no fucking way I'd buy a drink for some bitch that walks up and asks if I'd like to buy her a damn drink. what the fuck, how is that acceptable come-on strategy? either I buy her a drink of my own accord or she buys me one of her own accord. who the fuck came up with that retarded idea that a chick should ask a guy to buy her a drink instead of just sitting down and starting a goddamn conversation?

bullshit, I wouldn't want anything to do with a flaky sausagewallet that approaches guys with the tact of a five dollar whore

:angst:

:p

[SemperFly]

figured. how many loose disease ridden cunts have you railed that approached you by demanding you spend money on them? :p

[fly]

figured. how many loose disease ridden cunts have you railed that approached you by demanding you spend money on them? :p

And to think that you aren't taken. What a shame... :fly:

[w_a_w]

figured. how many loose disease ridden cunts have you railed that approached you by demanding you spend money on them? :p

I've never had an std, thankeweverahmuch

[Onnotangu]

I've never had an std, thankeweverahmuch

yet

[SemperFly]

And to think that you aren't taken. What a shame... :fly:
really?
I've never had an std, thankeweverahmuch

you can still poke a herpes hole without getting a nasty itch, yknow

[w_a_w]

I don't fuck skanky road whores so there's a reason I've never had an std

[April40]

I don't fuck skanky road whores so there's a reason I've never had an std


50% chance you have...


How many people have HPV?

Genital HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the United States. At least 50 percent of sexually active men and women get genital HPV at some time in their lives.

http://www.4woman.gov/faq/stdhpv.htm

[April40]

Ohh I didn't know this:

How do I protect myself from HPV?

HPV infection can infect male and female genital areas that are covered by a condom, as well as areas not covered by the condom. Using condoms may reduce the risk of getting genital warts and cervical cancer. But condoms may not completely protect you. The best way to protect yourself from HPV is to not have sex, or to only have sex with one uninfected partner who also only has sex with you.



edit:
Since HPV usually causes no symptoms, most men and women can get HPV – and pass it on - without realizing it. People can have HPV even if years have passed since they had sex.

[SemperFly]

I don't fuck skanky road whores so there's a reason I've never had an std

well yeah, but I was asking if you'd fucked any skanky bar whores following their insistence that you buy them a drink before you go spelunking in their growlers

[SemperFly]

50% chance you have...


How many people have HPV?

Genital HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the United States. At least 50 percent of sexually active men and women get genital HPV at some time in their lives.

http://www.4woman.gov/faq/stdhpv.htm

communist lies perpetuated by the vaccination conspiracy

[w_a_w]

well yeah, but I was asking if you'd fucked any skanky bar whores following their insistence that you buy them a drink before you go spelunking in their growlers

no, I can't ever recall a chick just plunking down next to me and saying buy me a drink...at least that I wasn't already dating

[SemperFly]

no, I can't ever recall a chick just plunking down next to me and saying buy me a drink...at least that I wasn't already dating

:cool: thats the answer I was hoping for :heart:

what would your reaction be?

[April40]

communist lies perpetuated by the vaccination conspiracy

I got half of the Gardasil set of shots done.

Cancer is a scary fucking thing; especially cervix cancer. So stfu.

[w_a_w]

:cool: thats the answer I was hoping for :heart:

what would your reaction be?

guess it would depend on how she asked and how hot she was :fly:

[SemperFly]

I got half of the Gardasil set of shots done.

Cancer is a scary fucking thing; especially cervix cancer. So stfu.

yknow vaccines were invented by the free masons :fly:

[fly]

yknow vaccines were invented by the free masons :fly:

i love you

[April40]

yknow vaccines were invented by the free masons :fly:

Weren't the masons a group of male chauvinist pigs that sat around and played fap on the cookie?

[SemperFly]

Weren't the masons a group of male chauvinist pigs that sat around and played fap on the cookie?

they control the british crown :shady:

[b_sinning]

How about when a stripper ask you to buy her a drink and she gets the $40 water? Bitch just take a sip of my beer for a dollar.

[Thorn Bird]

I don't fuck skanky road whores so there's a reason I've never had an std

oooooooooohhhoooooo...little do you know, little boy, how many NON-whores have STDs. it ain't reserved fo just da trash no mo. and no, i'm not talking about myself having anything, because i don't. unless you count two pregnancies. but stds aren't only for the, uh, skanky road whores and those durn homosexuals. it's everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

it's y'all's fucking dipsticks that usually contaminate everyone, because those things carry stuff that doesn't even SHOW UP on the boy.

if you think you're fucking "clean" girls without protection, you better go get your dipstick checked, mister. :fly:

/waggling mama finger

[w_a_w]

oooooooooohhhoooooo...little do you know, little boy, how many NON-whores have STDs. it ain't reserved fo just da trash no mo. and no, i'm not talking about myself having anything, because i don't. unless you count two pregnancies. but stds aren't only for the, uh, skanky road whores and those durn homosexuals. it's everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

it's y'all's fucking dipsticks that usually contaminate everyone, because those things carry stuff that doesn't even SHOW UP on the boy.

if you think you're fucking "clean" girls without protection, you better go get your dipstick checked, mister. :fly:

/waggling mama finger

I love how all the women (being you and ape thus far) assume they are clean and that I have something when neither of us has ever had anything...just guessing on your sides, but... :p

[plot]

I love how all the women (being you and ape thus far) assume they are clean and that I have something when neither of us has ever had anything...just guessing on your sides, but... :p

from the rumors i've heard, april has a horrible case of fly.


:eek:

[w_a_w]

from the rumors i've heard, april has a horrible case of fly.


:eek:

if untreated I heard that leads to insanity!

[April40]

I love how all the women (being you and ape thus far) assume they are clean and that I have something when neither of us has ever had anything...just guessing on your sides, but... :p

I never said I was clean. I was tested before fly; but who knows what he has given me. :fly: I may have HPV and not know it.

Plus I have herpes of the mouth. It wasn't sexually contracted; just passed on from my father. Had them since I was like 12 or something.

I know the jokes...stfu.

[dbzeag]

if untreated I heard that leads to pregnancy!

;)

[April40]

;)

:mad:

[Thorn Bird]

I love how all the women (being you and ape thus far) assume they are clean and that I have something when neither of us has ever had anything...just guessing on your sides, but... :p

first of all, i don't assume you have anything. what i DO assume is that you are a smart, responsible man who has SMART (casual ;)) sex. and comparing your track record to mine...i haven't slept with anyone else in 10 years, and before that it was with my best friend three times. i put my trust in spange that he hasn't slept with anyone else, either, in the last 10 years. (omg we're old.) i've been tested, and i'm fine.

i wasn't saying you have anything...but you can't assume that just because a girl isn't "trashy" that she's clean. my huge point in my last post was that one does not know who has what, and you simply can't assume anything about anyone. stds are everywhere. part of the problem is that some diseases aren't obvious and are spread easily. men can carry things they don't know about and give them to women.

and do you think that a "classy" girl who has an std is going to say anything? probably not if it's a one-night stand...she's going to be too proud to say anything. i just heard about a friend of a friend who has the whatever-letter hepatitis deal and was sleeping with some guy...she never told him she was sick. do you really think everyone who has something tells their partners about it? some people are in denial about having something. some aren't informed on what they have or how to be responsible. no one should trust their health to the simple words of anyone else, especially when people have casual partners. i think that if one is having casual sex frequently, it'd be a good idea to be tested after every person.

god forbid i ever have to date again...i'd be too paranoid to sleep with anyone! :lol:

[Jonny_B]

i just think it's funny how they have almost wiped out polio, but there's nothing they can do about the clap, which is easily treatable. for a disease, choosing to propagate through sexual transmission is a master stroke. we just can't help ourselves.

[Sp`ange]

if untreated I heard that leads to insanity!

or anal leakage.

[fly]

And waw, at your age, you likely have hpv. Thems the facts man.

[Sarcasmo]

I got HPV from someone who wasn't a skanky road whore. Luckily it doesn't do anything to men, and thank God it was a P and not an I.

[April40]

Haha WAW has an STD!!!!

[Jonny_B]

I may have it too. I've only ever been tested for Chlamydia but it turned out to be a urinary tract infection.

[Thorn Bird]

everyone on here should make a pledge to go get a round about test if they have not been tested since their last partner. :heart:

[Onnotangu]

I never said I was clean. I was tested before fly; but who knows what he has given me. :fly: I may have HPV and not know it.

Plus I have herpes of the mouth. It wasn't sexually contracted; just passed on from my father. Had them since I was like 12 or something.

I know the jokes...stfu.

good news. you will not be mouth raped by aliens.

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b331/Onnotangu/alienwinwong.jpg

[Onnotangu]

everyone on here should make a pledge to go get a round about test if they have not been tested since their last partner. :heart:

first that would mean I have had sex in the last 3 years with someone other than my hand.

[Jonny_B]

first that would mean I have had sex in the last 3 years with someone other than my hand.
you say that as if it makes you safe. how do you know your hand isn't cheating?

[Onnotangu]

you say that as if it makes you safe. how do you know your hand isn't cheating?

because I've had a full STD gauntlet test last year. q-tips in the pee pee hurt.

[Sarcasmo]

I never said I was clean. I was tested before fly; but who knows what he has given me. :fly: I may have HPV and not know it.

Plus I have herpes of the mouth. It wasn't sexually contracted; just passed on from my father. Had them since I was like 12 or something.

I know the jokes...stfu.

You should get tested for HPV simply because it causes cervical cancer. Getting a heads up on that shit is pretty important.

[ChikkenNoodul]

You should get tested for HPV simply because it causes cervical cancer. Getting a heads up on that shit is pretty important.

Well done :lol:

[b_sinning]

April is still young enough to get the shot for it.



So if your over 28 they just say fuck you and your stanky cervix?

[w_a_w]

You should get tested for HPV simply because it causes cervical cancer. Getting a heads up on that shit is pretty important.

thank you :lol:

[ChikkenNoodul]

q-tips in the pee pee hurt.
Guess you and Dave now have something in common :fly:

[JPatrick]

Guess you and Dave now have something in common :fly:

argh

[Onnotangu]

Guess you and Dave now have something in common :fly:

.......that was more information about someone else's sex life than I really need to know.

[April40]

April is still young enough to get the shot for it.



So if your over 28 they just say fuck you and your stanky cervix?

There are three shots total. I got one of the three.

They are separated out every 3 or 6 months (can't remember) so when it came time to do shot 2 I forgot.

Whoops.

My insurance no longer covers me since I hit 25.

[b_sinning]

Damn April you're getting old. You better hope fly doesn't find out or he'll start cruising by the highschools again.

[Jonny_B]

There are three shots total. I got one of the three.

They are separated out every 3 or 6 months (can't remember) so when it came time to do shot 2 I forgot.

Whoops.

My insurance no longer covers me since I hit 25.
if it doesn't cover you it isn't very good insurance.

[Coqui]

Ok, any one of you, right now honestly tell me that if she walked up to in a bar or something and said "Would you like to buy me a drink?"

We know better. She's just trying to score free drinks.

[Onnotangu]

We know better. She's just trying to score free drinks.

bartender! another roofie colada!

giggty!

[April40]

Damn April you're getting old. You better hope fly doesn't find out or he'll start cruising by the highschools again.

if it doesn't cover you it isn't very good insurance.

Agreed. On both accounts.

[dbzeag]

because I've had a full STD gauntlet test last year. q-tips in the pee pee hurt.

Only when they are dipped in rubbing alcohol while you are tugging on your nuts with a 16lb bowling ball and spraying alcohol-based substances (like perfumes) on your expanded asshole.

Not that I have ever done those things :shifty:

[JPatrick]

oh godammit

[ChikkenNoodul]

Jesus.....Jesus Christ......

[fly]

Only when they are dipped in rubbing alcohol while you are tugging on your nuts with a 16lb bowling ball and spraying alcohol-based substances (like perfumes) on your expanded asshole.

Not that I have ever done those things :shifty:

How do you beat off and spray shit on your asshole at the same time? I can't do all that work to beat off.

[ChikkenNoodul]

How do you beat off and spray shit on your asshole at the same time? I can't do all that work to beat off.

Probably a complex system of ropes and pulleys.

[Shalimar]

first that would mean I have had sex in the last 3 years with someone other than my hand.



and yet you would turn down the knywi dessert platter ?? :confused:





STD's: Not just for skanky road whores anymore. ;)