Check list of things to dos before u dies

[elpmis]

How's your list coming along?

I'm not doing so well ...

[x] Graduate from College
[ ] Compete on the Iron Chef
[ ] Visit Japan
[ ] Meet Sarcasmo
[ ] Two Chicks at the same time
[x] Beat a dude up in front of his daughter
[ ] Own a Ferrari
[ ] Be in a really bad movie

[InfluX]

...i havent done any of those yet but that's a damn good list. i'm going to steal it for my own.

[wanko80]

If you come to Dallas, we can knock out # 4,5 and 8 at once.

[elpmis]

If you come to Dallas, we can knock out # 4,5 and 8 at once.

:hs:

[KNYTE]

1) Take vengeance on those responsible for the cancellation of Knight Rider and Airwolf.[x]
2) Take back Cuba from the Castro family.[ ]
3) Get a good cover identity and a hot cover wife. [x]
4) Wank race Fly to orgasm while watching April and Kiwi make out. [ ]
5) Wank-race elpmis to orgasm while watching Fly and Sarcasmo make out. [ ]
6) Stop drinking Nyquil excessively. [ ]

[Onnotangu]

Get married[]
go back to hawaii[]
go to spain and go to a rave[]
get hugs from all uselesforum females[]
get hugs from all useless forum mayojars[]

[April40]

[X] I just want to live.

[Valve1080i]

1) Take vengeance on those responsible for the cancellation of Knight Rider and Airwolf.[x]


You can blame Jan-Michael Vincent for Airwolf's demise. He was too drunk and drugged out to work.

Coincidentally I've been netflixing the series. Damn, thats some good TV.

[wanko80]

Take vengeance on those responsible for the cancellation of Firefly.[x]
Fixt

[Dream]

[X] I just want to live.

Ditto

[Sarcasmo]

[ ] pimp slap the next asshole who comes into my office and interrupts my posting
[ ] Influx. Repeatedly.
[ ] SRC while Mikey watches BET
[ ] Akasha while watching Xena reruns and ululating
[ ] record W_a_W trying to pay various blondes with fake tits to pose in pics with him
[ ] pull Excalibur from theac's asshole
[ ] extend my lifestyle from penny-to-penny to nickel-to-nickel
[ ] figure out how a hip-hop DJ can be an English teacher without the world imploding on itself
[ ] figure out how a titless girl who drinks pork grease can be so damn attractive
[ ] get Floptical back on the forum
[ ] Trick Drool into fabricating me a house
[ ] Have a novel optioned into a record-breaking motion picture with Bruce Campbell in the leading role.
[ ] slow motion sawhorseback riding with elpmis
[ ] consume Knyte's flesh for a permanent +5 bonus to hilarity
Is Dharma fat?
[ ] yes
[ ] totally


I should probably get started pretty soon.

edit: [x] pimp slap the next asshole who comes into my office and interrupts my posting - haha fuck you Linda

[hawk82]

things to denial of service before you die? :wtf:

[Dharma1521]

[ ] pimp slap the next asshole who comes into my office and interrupts my posting
[ ] Influx. Repeatedly.
[ ] SRC while Mikey watches BET
[ ] Akasha while watching Xena reruns and ululating
[ ] record W_a_W trying to pay various blondes with fake tits to pose in pics with him
[ ] pull Excalibur from theac's asshole
[ ] extend my lifestyle from penny-to-penny to nickel-to-nickel
[ ] figure out how a hip-hop DJ can be an English teacher without the world imploding on itself
[ ] figure out how a titless girl who drinks pork grease can be so damn attractive
[ ] get Floptical back on the forum
[ ] Trick Drool into fabricating me a house
[ ] Have a novel optioned into a record-breaking motion picture with Bruce Campbell in the leading role.
[ ] slow motion sawhorseback riding with elpmis
[ ] consume Knyte's flesh for a permanent +5 bonus to hilarity


I should probably get started pretty soon.

edit: [x] pimp slap the next asshole who comes into my office and interrupts my posting - haha fuck you Linda

Yeah thanks I totally feel the love bastard

[ ] Start the revenge plot

[mikey]

[ ] Akasha while watching Xena reruns and ululating





So all the gay jokes weren't gay jokes.

[JPatrick]

Poop on Sarcasmo[]
Poop on fly[x]
Send poop through the mail[x]
Trick the wife into having her face by my butt while I rip a big fart[]
Poop in the neighbors yard[x]
Trick April into drinking pork grease[x]
Crush the non-believers[]

[elpmis]

[ ] figure out how a titless girl who drinks pork grease can be so damn attractive


uh oh, you called April hot. She's totally going to be pissed

[Jonny_B]

[] see one of the great capes from the water (i don't necessarily have to sail around it)
[] take the train from halifax to victoria
[] learn another language (probably spanish or russian)
[] visit south america
[] sail across an ocean

since i'm composing this list for the first time there's nothing checked off yet.

[elpmis]

Poop on Sarcasmo[]
Poop on fly[x]
Send poop through the mail[x]
Trick the wife into having her face by my butt while I rip a big fart[]
Poop in the neighbors yard[x]
Trick April into drinking pork grease[x]
Crush the non-believers[]

[ ] funzie volume 2

[JPatrick]

[ ] funzie volume 2

crap in elpmis' mouf[]
make him tell me he likes it[]
funzie vol 3 []

[Sarcasmo]

Poop on Sarcasmo[]
Poop on fly[x]
Send poop through the mail[x]
Trick the wife into having her face by my butt while I rip a big fart[]
Poop in the neighbors yard[x]
Trick April into drinking pork grease[x]
Crush the non-believers[]
Figure out why I quit making Bub comics like a fucking jerk []

[Sarcasmo]

Yeah thanks I totally feel the love bastard

[ ] Start the revenge plot

edited my post

[Dharma1521]

edited my post

I hate your post. And I am pleasantly plump fuck head.

ON TOPIC:
[ ] Throw Sarcasmo off a cliff into a fire.

[April40]

uh oh, you called April hot. She's totally going to be pissed

Hey do you think he is hitting on me?

[ChikkenNoodul]

[x]Drink an Irishman under the table
[x]Drink Scotch in Scotland
[x]Drink cask ale in a Brighton pub
[x]Drink rum at a Caribbean distillery
[ ]Drink vodka in Russia
[ ]Drink tequila in Mexico
[ ]Drink sake and shochu in Japan
[ ]Drink abbey ale at a Belgian abbey
[ ]Drink grappa in Italy
[ ]Drink ouzo in Greece
[x]Drink backwoods 'shine
[ ]Dive the Britannic

[Onnotangu]

So all the gay jokes weren't gay jokes.

How about you stop that shit right now.:mad:

[SRC]

[x] have a kid
[x] learn to cook
[x] find a great boyfriend
[x] register for college
[x] register for photography classes
[ ] lose 10lbs
[ ] get a better job
[ ] think up more options

[itburnswhenipee]

Oh, I did one of these in a thread a couple of years ago... lemmie see if I can find it

<searching... please wait>

Ah, here it is:


Things to do before I die:

[ ] Sail from Baltimore to Amsterdam
[ ] Take motorcycle trip across continental United States
[x] Write love poem for wife
[ ] Eat 10 saltine crackers in a minute without taking a drink
[ ] Go to a tappas restaraunt
[ ] Do wife in the butt
[ ] Visit the basement of the Alamo
[x] Post annoing list on teh intarweb
[ ] Eat the correct number of hamburgers
[ ] Get shitfaced on Night Train with the Pope


I guess I can cross #5 off the list. I ate at a Tappas joint in Atlanta with some of you yahoos last.... October? September? Sometime around then.

[HydroSqueegee]

[X] Float through life day to day

[itburnswhenipee]

[X] Float through life day to day

This is actually a variation of Buddhism's Middle Way. I like to refer to it as The Path Of Least Resistance.

[Coqui]

EDIT: I can't read

[HydroSqueegee]

This is actually a variation of Buddhism's Middle Way. I like to refer to it as The Path Of Least Resistance.

it keeps stress to a minimum until something comes along to screw up the flow

[HifiGirly]

it keeps stress to a minimum until something comes along to screw up the flow

That would be a wife and child that interfere with his computering habits.

[itburnswhenipee]

it keeps stress to a minimum until something comes along to screw up the flow

When I was in high school a friend and I tried to work out rules for driving a car along the path of least resistance. We had to create exceptions for certain situations that would get us trapped in endless loops, and ultimately learned that a car driven along the path of least resistance will end up in northeast Washington, DC at a KFC full of Ukrainians. Who knew?

[HydroSqueegee]

That would be a wife and child that interfere with his computering habits.

:rolleyes:

[HydroSqueegee]

When I was in high school a friend and I tried to work out rules for driving a car along the path of least resistance. We had to create exceptions for certain situations that would get us trapped in endless loops, and ultimately learned that a car driven along the path of least resistance will end up in northeast Washington, DC at a KFC full of Ukrainians. Who knew?

Well my cube mate is Ukrainian. Does that count?

[JPatrick]

When I was in high school a friend and I tried to work out rules for driving a car along the path of least resistance. We had to create exceptions for certain situations that would get us trapped in endless loops, and ultimately learned that a car driven along the path of least resistance will end up in northeast Washington, DC at a KFC full of Ukrainians. Who knew?

I think it depends on point of origin, cuz the path of least resistance from Houston end you up just across the border in a seedy bar featuring a "donkey show".

[itburnswhenipee]

Well my cube mate is Ukrainian. Does that count?

Only if he is passionate about fried chicken.

[ChikkenNoodul]

In Boston, I believe you'd end up in the harbour with a car full of cod.

[HydroSqueegee]

Only if he is passionate about fried chicken.

he likes slabs of buttered lard on rye with vodka

[ChikkenNoodul]

he likes slabs of buttered lard on rye with vodka

Who doesn't? :drool:

[itburnswhenipee]

I dunno, man. That sounds a little too rich to me.

[plot]

everything []

[Jonny_B]

[] know what's going on

[elpmis]

Hey do you think he is hitting on me?

LET'S NOT THINK RATIONALLY ABOUT IT, LET'S JUST ASSUME HE IS!!!!


GET HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

[April40]

LET'S NOT THINK RATIONALLY ABOUT IT, LET'S JUST ASSUME HE IS!!!!


GET HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should I start out with the story about jumping off a big rock and paralyzing myself?

[SemperFly]

What's been on my list forever

[] skydive
[] visit australia

I should probably do the australia thing first...

anyhoo, list of crap I came up with as general life goals, no idea how many I can actually accomplish

[]become a United States Marine
[]become a United States Marine scout/sniper
[]learn farsi
[]learn arabic
[]learn italian
[]learn portuguese
[]learn at least one oriental language
[]become an officer in the Marine Corps
[]qualify for flight training
[]get a seat in a Hornet
[]get a slot at NAS Pax River as a test pilot
[]earn at least a bachelors in psychology
[]earn at least a masters in aeronautical engineering, mathematics or linguistics
[]earn a doctorate in one of the previously mentioned fields
[]join the FBI
[]live in New York
[]live in San Francisco
[]live in Alaska
[]open a martial arts studio
[]open a tuner shop
[]build a car from the frame up
[]own one of those missile silo homes
[]start a company specializing in data preservation
[]go into space as an astronaut, not a tourist
[]audition for So You Think You Can Dance
[]write a novel
[]be such an expert in one of those fields above that I'm asked to author a graduate level textbook
[]get an ex girlfriend to fall in love with me all over again
[]learn to sail
[]own a dog that's been K9-trained
[]read every star trek and star wars book ever written
[]learn to fly helicopters
[]save the world

[Sarcasmo]

What's been on my list forever

[] skydive
[] visit australia

I should probably do the australia thing first...

anyhoo, list of crap I came up with as general life goals, no idea how many I can actually accomplish

[]become a United States Marine
[]become a United States Marine scout/sniper
[]learn farsi
[]learn arabic
[]learn italian
[]learn portuguese
[]learn at least one oriental language
[]become an officer in the Marine Corps
[]qualify for flight training
[]get a seat in a Hornet
[]get a slot at NAS Pax River as a test pilot
[]earn at least a bachelors in psychology
[]earn at least a masters in aeronautical engineering, mathematics or linguistics
[]earn a doctorate in one of the previously mentioned fields
[]join the FBI
[]live in New York
[]live in San Francisco
[]live in Alaska
[]open a martial arts studio
[]open a tuner shop
[]build a car from the frame up
[]own one of those missile silo homes
[]start a company specializing in data preservation
[]go into space as an astronaut, not a tourist
[]audition for So You Think You Can Dance
[]write a novel
[]be such an expert in one of those fields above that I'm asked to author a graduate level textbook
[]get an ex girlfriend to fall in love with me all over again
[]learn to sail
[]own a dog that's been K9-trained
[]read every star trek and star wars book ever written
[]learn to fly helicopters
[]save the world

Don't forget
[]wake up

[Arátoeldar]

[ ]Dive the Britannic

How far down in the Med is the Britannica?

[ ] Kill Peter Jackson very slowly with a rusty knife. This would be after putting him in a sensory deprivation tank to drive PJ insane.

[b_sinning]

[x]Have sex with 2 women at same time
[x]Have sex with 3 women at same time
[]sail around the Caribbean
[]backpack through Europe
[]Dive Great barrier Reef
[]Visit Mayan Ruins
[]See Scotland
[]Travel through South america
[]Drop acid in outer space
[] skydive
[] visit australia

[Sarcasmo]

[x]Have sex with 2 women at same time
[x]Have sex with 3 women at same time


Do you actually have sex with all the women? If so, they're all okay with sharing each other's moistness? I wonder if Thorn would be up for that. How do you decide who gets the climax? Do they all get some? Were you married at the time? If so, she's really okay with you tapping someone else's keg right there in front of her? That's interesting. Let's discuss in great detail. A fascinating way to start my Friday.

[b_sinning]

My wife started it. They were two of her friends. We were all messed up. Yes I had sex with all 3. It's odd knowing I'll never top that.

[Thorn Bird]

Do you actually have sex with all the women? If so, they're all okay with sharing each other's moistness? I wonder if Thorn would be up for that. How do you decide who gets the climax? Do they all get some? Were you married at the time? If so, she's really okay with you tapping someone else's keg right there in front of her? That's interesting. Let's discuss in great detail. A fascinating way to start my Friday.

i'm in for these answers.


and heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell no i wouldn't be in for sharing. i'd just be first. :hi2u:

[w_a_w]

[x]Have sex with 2 women at same time
[x]Have sex with 3 women at same time
[]sail around the Caribbean
[]backpack through Europe
[]Dive Great barrier Reef
[]Visit Mayan Ruins
[]See Scotland
[]Travel through South america
[]Drop acid in outer space
[] skydive
[] visit australia

oh, you dick...I've done 2 but not 3...the bar has been raised! :D

[w_a_w]

Do you actually have sex with all the women? If so, they're all okay with sharing each other's moistness? I wonder if Thorn would be up for that. How do you decide who gets the climax? Do they all get some? Were you married at the time? If so, she's really okay with you tapping someone else's keg right there in front of her? That's interesting. Let's discuss in great detail. A fascinating way to start my Friday.

the one's that are cool with it are *usually* bi but not in all cases...if she wants some too it's much easier to accomplish said things

[SemperFly]

Don't forget
[]wake up

blow me.

[Dharma1521]

i'm in for these answers.


and heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell no i wouldn't be in for sharing. i'd just be first. :hi2u:

3 x dipped cone.

EWWWWWWWW

[b_sinning]

oh, you dick...I've done 2 but not 3...the bar has been raised! :D

If it makes you feel better your new tire is probably worth more than my car is worth.

[Thorn Bird]

3 x dipped cone.

EWWWWWWWW

i'd be the cone BEFORE it was dipped. :lol:
























:barf: ok, i'm over this now. :barf:

[w_a_w]

If it makes you feel better your new tire is probably worth more than my car is worth.

I find little solace in that :p

[Shalimar]

If you come to Dallas, we can knock out # 4,5 and 8 at once.

that's funny.


My list:

Have foursome with Halle Berry, Tyra Banks, and Vivica Fox.

[April40]

[X] Do 23 men at once.

[kiwi]

[X] Do 23 men at once.

Just because you weigh the same as 23 men, does not mean you can count masturbation as doing 23 men at once.

[Fat Burger]

[X] Start a career in IT
[X] Get married
[X] Buy a house
[ ] Finish this list


I'm sort of stuck on the last one, it's a bit of a catch-22. In retrospect, it may not have been the best idea.

[April40]

Just because you weigh the same as 23 men, does not mean you can count masturbation as doing 23 men at once.

You're always crushing my party. kekeke :heart:

[ChikkenNoodul]

How far down in the Med is the Britannica?
About 400 feet or so, a few people have dove on her. I need more experience and training, but the biggest obstacle is the Greek government.

[Coqui]

[X] Do 23 men at once.

No wonder you have hearing problems and respiratory issues.

[Dharma1521]

[ ] Blow up Zac's house.

[April40]

[ ] Blow up Zac's house.

Failure.

[Dharma1521]

Failure.

Well part two of my goals involved buying you a puppy so STFU.

[April40]

Well part two of my goals involved buying you a puppy so STFU.

Suceed!

[w_a_w]

Suceed!

that's a catch-22 though...you wouldn't have a house to keep the puppy in

[Dharma1521]

that's a catch-22 though...you wouldn't have a house to keep the puppy in

My house (another secret part of my plan ;)

[w_a_w]

My house (another secret part of my plan ;)

if your plan comes to fruition I want many :pics: of the hawt girl on girl action :drool:

[KNYTE]

Get in a huge gun battle and yell "GET TO THA CHOPPAH!!!" [ ]

[BeerAd]

[X]Drink
[X]Drank
[X]Drunk
[X]Happy

[b_sinning]

[]A perfect Dukes of Hazard Slide Across a Car Hood while being chased
[]Jump a car a few hundred yards across a ravine while being chased while yelling "YeeHaw"

[kiwi]

[]April
[]Thorn
[]Fuxx
[]April, Thorn, and Fuxx at the same time.

[Onnotangu]

oh, you dick...I've done 2 but not 3...the bar has been raised! :D
I've beaten that bar.
5

[Fat Burger]

I'm farther along Kiwi's list than she is!

[Onnotangu]

I'm farther along Kiwi's list than she is!
I'm jealous

[kiwi]

I'm jealous

Me too. :(

[Dharma1521]

[]April
[]Thorn
[]Fuxx
[]April, Thorn, and Fuxx at the same time.

I really think that it's cute that you are spending time with each girl separately first.

[BeerAd]

I really think that it's cute that you are spending time with each girl separately first.

What she meant to say...

"I am really jealous I am not on that list"

what I meant to say...

"me too"

[w_a_w]

I've beaten that bar.
5

5? how'd you manage that? :eek:

shens?