Things that scare me

[shawndavid]

I will be 35 years old on May 11th. I don't care at all about the age itself. The problem lies in small reality checks. I was scanning through the St. Pete Times website and came across this pic of a guy who is watching his son play at UF. If I was to have a child at 17 said child would be 18 this year thus making him eligible to enter college and play ball. This mother fucker could be me if he had better taste in hats. Fuck...

http://sports.tampabay.com/2007/03/29/images/gators-300.jpg

[w_a_w]

I will be 35 years old on May 11th. I don't care at all about the age itself. The problem lies in small reality checks. I was scanning through the St. Pete Times website and came across this pic of a guy who is watching his son play at UF. If I was to have a child at 17 said child would be 18 this year thus making him eligible to enter college and play ball. This mother fucker could be me if he had better taste in hats. Fuck...

http://sports.tampabay.com/2007/03/29/images/gators-300.jpg

my dad had all 3 of his kids by my age which is precisely why I've not entered into the bonds of marriage...I turn 35 on nov. 1...holy fuck that sounds old :\

:lol:

[Sarcasmo]

Just imagine if you had had a child at 10. He or she would be 25 right now, possibly with kids of their own. You could be a grandpa right now, at the age of 34. Jesus Christ.

[Dharma1521]

Just imagine if you had had a child at 10. He or she would be 25 right now, possibly with kids of their own. You could be a grandpa right now, at the age of 34. Jesus Christ.

You are completely fucked in the head.

[April40]

You are completely fucked in the head.

There are kids out there having kids at the age of 10.


...by teddy bears.

[w_a_w]

10? :lol:

[KNYTE]

Conversely ShawnDavid will be likely pushing 60 when he's pushing his kids out the door, albeit slowly and with heavy applications of Bengay.

[Sarcasmo]

You are completely fucked in the head.

Shawn has a kid at 10
Shawn's kid has a kid at 10
Shawn's kid's kid has a kid at 10.

At 34 Shawn is a great grandfather, and his great grandchild is already almost half way (by precedent) to making him a great, great grandfather. ALL AT THE AGE OF 34. SWEET HOLY CRAP SHIT.

[April40]

10? :lol:

It's possible.

[w_a_w]

It's possible.

not for a dude...girls can MAYBE in .000001 % of cases hit puberty that early but I've never heard of it in a male

[Sarcasmo]

not for a dude...girls can MAYBE in .000001 % of cases hit puberty that early but I've never heard of it in a male

With the shit we put in our food these days, we'll have kindergarteners with pubes in a couple of generations.

[w_a_w]

With the shit we put in our food these days, we'll have kindergarteners with pubes in a couple of generations.

it will start in FL from all the meds pissed out by geriatrics leeching into the water supply

[April40]

not for a dude...girls can MAYBE in .000001 % of cases hit puberty that early but I've never heard of it in a male

I'm trying to find it now, but there was two kids under the age of ten to reproduce together.

Edit: This isn't it, but I'm getting closer: http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/medina.asp

[shawndavid]

There are kids out there having kids at the age of 10.


...by teddy bears.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=p23AdNZ78jI

With the shit we put in our food these days, we'll have kindergarteners with pubes in a couple of generations.

This is a conspiracy brought about by parents and grandparents who get uncomfortable when daddy's little girl gets titties. Fortunately for Ape her parents didn't have to go through this.




Conversely ShawnDavid will be likely pushing 60 when he's pushing his kids out the door, albeit slowly and with heavy applications of Bengay.

This is true. At that point I'll just be a skull in a pickled pigs' feet jar with some neon lights and a morphine drip I can click with my teeth.

[HydroSqueegee]

My sister and her hubby had kid 1 and 2 when they were 16 and 18. Both will be out in college by the time they are both 36.

But they fucked up and just had another one! :lol:

[April40]

This is a conspiracy brought about by parents and grandparents who get uncomfortable when daddy's little girl gets titties. Fortunately for Ape her parents didn't have to go through this.



I've been past that point for ten years now, my parents are now crossing their fingers for me.

[w_a_w]

I've been past that point for ten years now, my parents are now crossing their fingers for me.

just let zac knock you up and you'll get your funbags :fly:

[Sarcasmo]

This is a conspiracy brought about by parents and grandparents who get uncomfortable when daddy's little girl gets titties. Fortunately for Ape her parents didn't have to go through this.




Except more and more little girls are getting titties and periods as early as 10 now. But that has nothing to do with the hormone enemas we blast our foods with. That's simply illogical.

:shifty:

[April40]

just let zac knock you up and you'll get your funbags :fly:

I'd rather have concave boobs than have a child.

[Sarcasmo]

I'd rather have concave boobs than have a child.

Ethan had his first soccer game last weekend. Scored two goals and assisted on the third. His team won 3-1.

Point is, you can't send concave titties to Europe to land lucrative contracts.

[ChikkenNoodul]

Sure you can, them Frenchies like 'em small

[April40]

Ethan had his first soccer game last weekend. Scored two goals and assisted on the third. His team won 3-1.

Point is, you can't send concave titties to Europe to land lucrative contracts.

That post deserves negative rep.

[w_a_w]

I'd rather have concave boobs than have a child.

convex>>>concave :p

[April40]

convex>>>concave :p

Not having a child... ewww say goodbye to freedom and say hello to a life of responsibility.

[JPatrick]

A friend of mine, thats the same age as me, has 2 daughters, age 18 & 16.

[HydroSqueegee]

Not having a child... ewww say goodbye to freedom and say hello to a life of responsibility.

oh noes! not responsibility! I bet you would take a litter of kittens that showed up on your door step, put them en a sack and throw them into a river.

:heart:

[wanko80]

Ethan had his first soccer game last weekend. Scored two goals and assisted on the third. His team won 3-1.

Point is, you can't send concave titties to Europe to land lucrative contracts.
Dude, he's your kid. We all know he won't amount to anything.

[April40]

oh noes! not responsibility! I bet you would take a litter of kittens that showed up on your door step, put them en a sack and throw them into a river.

:heart:

Kittens are a .1 on the richter scale of responsibility, compared to children that are through the roof.

Breeders, you guys are funny.


:heart:

[Sarcasmo]

Dude, he's your kid. We all know he won't amount to anything.

Maybe he'll knock up your daughter and we can both have a laugh.

[HydroSqueegee]

Kittens are a .1 on the richter scale of responsibility, compared to children that are through the roof.

Breeders, you guys are funny.


:heart:

yea, kids can be a pain in the ass, but i couldnt imagine my life without my son. :D

[kiwi]

Even if we have one more after this next one, I will only be 28ish when she/he's born making me merely 46 when he graduates high school and moves out, and that will be the last kid. When I hit 35, I'll have a 13 year old.

[wanko80]

Maybe he'll knock up your daughter and we can both have a laugh.
I'll give her AIDS, so the joke will really be on you.

[plot]

i'm almost 24 and feel old. :(

[April40]

yea, kids can be a pain in the ass, but i couldnt imagine my life without my son. :D

I hear how great of a feeling it is, but I have no desire to have kids. It's a great feeling being able to leave the house and go on a vacation without a screaming kid or two. It's a great feeling to spend my paycheck on my retirement and not a college fund. It's a great feeling doing things for each other as a couple and not for the kid thats on a pedistool. It's a great feeling to keep my body the way it is.

My mom swears I'll grow out of this. I've been this way since I was a child tho.

[April40]

I'll give her AIDS, so the joke will really be on you.

He'll have the ebola zaire virus from me... so the jokes on both of you.

[Sarcasmo]

I'll give her AIDS, so the joke will really be on you.

I gave her AIDS the moment I knocked up your wife, so expect that joke to be top-spin lobbed back into your court at some point.

[Sarcasmo]

I hear how great of a feeling it is, but I have no desire to have kids. It's a great feeling being able to leave the house and go on a vacation without a screaming kid or two. It's a great feeling to spend my paycheck on my retirement and not a college fund. It's a great feeling doing things for each other as a couple and not for the kid thats on a pedistool. It's a great feeling to keep my body the way it is.

My mom swears I'll grow out of this. I've been this way since I was a child tho.

It's weird how people always say the same thing about not having kids. No screaming and the freedom to do whatever you want. Ironic that adults are always the ones complaining about everything and usually choosing to sit on their asses and do nothing.

[mikey]

There are kids out there having kids at the age of 10.


...by teddy bears.



dharma didn't like my pic and removed my message :lol:

[wanko80]

I gave her AIDS the moment I knocked up your wife, so expect that joke to be top-spin lobbed back into your court at some point.
I'd given my wife AIDS long ago.

Regardless, you want your son and daughter to mate? You sick fuck.

[April40]

It's weird how people always say the same thing about not having kids. No screaming and the freedom to do whatever you want. Ironic that adults are always the ones complaining about everything and usually choosing to sit on their asses and do nothing.

What are you talking about?

[Sarcasmo]

Tacos.

[April40]

Tacos.

Aren't you tired of Mexican food? I was when I lived in Texas. :barf:

[kiwi]

Not having a child... ewww say goodbye to freedom and say hello to a life of responsibility.

I realize I'll probably never convince you, but kids really aren't as bad as you think they are. I throughouly enjoy my kids 90 percent of the time, it's only about 10 percent that I want to give them back.

[April40]

I realize I'll probably never convince you, but kids really aren't as bad as you think they are. I throughouly enjoy my kids 90 percent of the time, it's only about 10 percent that I want to give them back.

:lol: I know. :heart:

I just don't have that internal instinct to breed. :hs:

[Sarcasmo]

Aren't you tired of Mexican food? I was when I lived in Texas. :barf:

Are you insane? I could eat Mexican all day every day. From quesadillas and burritos to queso and margaritas. Dios mio!

[Dharma1521]

There are kids out there having kids at the age of 10.


...by teddy bears.

Bitch . . .

also, from what i understand its very rare to find a boy 10 or under that has semen in his ejaculate.

[Sarcasmo]

:lol: I know. :heart:

I just don't have that internal instinct to breed. :hs:

Well, there's always rape I guess.

[Dharma1521]

just let zac knock you up and you'll get your funbags :fly:

Jesus Christ image that catastrophe.

I mean i'm sure they're kids would be fine.

[kiwi]

:lol: I know. :heart:

I just don't have that internal instinct to breed. :hs:

And that's fine too. I'll just let Knyte know, we have to have one more to make up for the one you aren't having.

[April40]

Well, there's always rape I guess.

...and there is always abortion.

[Dharma1521]

oh noes! not responsibility! I bet you would take a litter of kittens that showed up on your door step, put them en a sack and throw them into a river.

:heart:

Oh please. She would save every cat, dog, snake, rat, FG that entered her doorway.

[April40]

And that's fine too. I'll just let Knyte know, we have to have one more to make up for the one you aren't having.

:lol: I'll fully support you on that.

[Dharma1521]

dharma didn't like my pic and removed my message :lol:

Again you are a sick man Mikey.

[April40]

Oh please. She would save every cat, dog, snake, rat, FG that entered her doorway.

The FG part is where I draw the double line.

[Dharma1521]

The FG part is where I draw the double line.

Just image that is a sick little kitty thats really fucked in the head and possibly inbred so that he has no hearing and 7 toes on one paw.

[Sarcasmo]

...and there is always abortion.

I can take you to court and fight for custody.

[April40]

Just image that is a sick little kitty thats really fucked in the head and possibly inbred so that he has no hearing and 7 toes on one paw.

Does the sick kitty correct everyones grammar and doesn't have any friends?

[April40]

I can take you to court and fight for custody.

I'll give you the bloody aftermath. No need to take me to court.

[Dharma1521]

I'll give you the bloody aftermath. No need to take me to court.

hahahahahah

so wrong.

[shawndavid]

Except more and more little girls are getting titties and periods as early as 10 now. But that has nothing to do with the hormone enemas we blast our foods with. That's simply illogical.

:shifty:

If you did a little more research globally you would see that it has less to do with hormones used to spawn growth and activity in animals and more to do with human fat intake. Women in less developed countries subsisting on diets of proteins and carbohydrates with very low body fat percentages tend to delay puberty until sometimes as late as 17 years old. Tree-hugging cassandras in our country with big book deals revolving in their eyes tend to aim their attentions on the beef and dairy industries when the simple answer lies in healthier eating. We're actually lucky to have fat, fuckable kids. Don't believe everything you see on CNN. (Sorry, WAW;) )

[Sarcasmo]

If you did a little more research globally you would see that it has less to do with hormones used to spawn growth and activity in animals and more to do with human fat intake. Women in less developed countries subsisting on diets of proteins and carbohydrates with very low body fat percentages tend to delay puberty until sometimes as late as 17 years old. Tree-hugging cassandras in our country with big book deals revolving in their eyes tend to aim their attentions on the beef and dairy industries when the simple answer lies in healthier eating. We're actually lucky to have fat, fuckable kids. Don't believe everything you see on CNN. (Sorry, WAW;) )

So our non-fat children reaching sexual maturity at 11 and 12 do so because...

[HydroSqueegee]

I hear how great of a feeling it is, but I have no desire to have kids. It's a great feeling being able to leave the house and go on a vacation without a screaming kid or two. It's a great feeling to spend my paycheck on my retirement and not a college fund. It's a great feeling doing things for each other as a couple and not for the kid thats on a pedistool. It's a great feeling to keep my body the way it is.

My mom swears I'll grow out of this. I've been this way since I was a child tho.

yea... you do have moments where you miss the pre kid days. :(

But then again, my life was basically spent in front of a monitor... so no real loss for me.

[BeerAd]

Shawn is old, lol, that sucks

[w_a_w]

Just image that is a sick little kitty thats really fucked in the head and possibly inbred so that he has no hearing and 7 toes on one paw.

that's called a hemingway cat

If you did a little more research globally you would see that it has less to do with hormones used to spawn growth and activity in animals and more to do with human fat intake. Women in less developed countries subsisting on diets of proteins and carbohydrates with very low body fat percentages tend to delay puberty until sometimes as late as 17 years old. Tree-hugging cassandras in our country with big book deals revolving in their eyes tend to aim their attentions on the beef and dairy industries when the simple answer lies in healthier eating. We're actually lucky to have fat, fuckable kids. Don't believe everything you see on CNN. (Sorry, WAW;) )


them's fightin' words :mad:




:p

[shawndavid]

So our non-fat children reaching sexual maturity at 11 and 12 do so because...

I can only lead you to water. I can't make you drink, sir.

[Sarcasmo]

I can only lead you to water. I can't make you drink, sir.

Your water source is possibly non-potable. Often evidence appears decades after the initial suspicion. Better safe than sorry, I say.

[April40]

This is too cute. http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=22652

Offsetting the scare factor in this thread.

[eileenbunny]

Most of the girls in my sister's fourth grade class (9-10 year olds) get their periods already. I can't say what the reason is, but any one of them can get pregnant. It really isn't that far fetched. I still think the reason for all of this is hormones in milk and meat. Perhaps it's both the things that we eat and what we put in them that is causing the issue.

[shawndavid]

It's probably because of GTA San Andreas and hot coffee.

[April40]

It's probably because of GTA San Andreas and hot coffee.

I can't seem to get myself some hot coffee around this joint.

[April40]

I'm just glad the birth control us girls are peeing back into the water is slowly sterilizing our men. :)

[Sarcasmo]

I'm just glad the birth control us girls are peeing back into the water is slowly sterilizing our men. :)

I jerk off in the shower so much it's swinging the balance back.

[April40]

I jerk off in the shower so much it's swinging the balance back.
I'm sure a man of your magnitude, you only have weak swimmers.

[Sarcasmo]

I'm sure a man of your magnitude, you only have weak swimmers.

Um, Tri-State Fallopian Champions, 2005-2007. Can you say three-peat?

[April40]

Um, Tri-State Fallopian Champions, 2005-2007. Can you say three-peat?

Are you sure that wasn't the State Champion of Blank Shooters?

[Sarcasmo]

Are you sure that wasn't the State Champion of Blank Shooters?

Ethan's mom and Wonko's wife didn't knock themselves up.

[April40]

Ethan's mom and Wonko's wife didn't knock themselves up.

You could have Mikey's problem. I'm just saying.

[shawndavid]

You could have Mikey's problem. I'm just saying.

Mikey's like Strom Thurmond.

[April40]

Mikey's like Strom Thurmond.

I had to look him up, once I did I LOL'd.

[shawndavid]

I had to look him up, once I did I LOL'd.

From wiki:

Mixed race daughter

Shortly after Thurmond's death on June 26, 2003, Essie Mae Washington-Williams publicly revealed that she was Strom Thurmond's illegitimate daughter. She was born to an African American maid, Carrie "Tunch" Butler (1909–1947), on October 12, 1925, when Butler was 16 and Thurmond was 22. Thurmond met Washington-Williams when she was 16. He helped pay her way through college and later paid her sums of money in cash or, through a nephew, checks. These payments extended well into her adult life.[5] Washington-Williams has stated that she did not reveal she was Thurmond's daughter during his lifetime because it "wasn't to either advantage of either one of us"[5] and that she kept silent out of love and respect for her father.[6] She denies that there was an agreement between the two to keep her connection to Thurmond silent.[5]

After Washington-Williams came forward, the Thurmond family publicly acknowledged her parentage. Many close friends and staff members had long suspected this to have been the case, stating that Thurmond had always taken a great amount of interest in Washington-Williams and that she was granted a degree of access to the Senator more appropriate to a family member than to a member of the public.

[Dharma1521]

This is too cute. http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=22652

Offsetting the scare factor in this thread.

OMG when they drifted apart and then grabbed hands again. I am dying from the cuteness.

[April40]

OMG when they drifted apart and then grabbed hands again. I am dying from the cuteness.

Ya they actually wanted to be with each other... awwwwwwww. :heart:

[Dharma1521]

Ya they actually wanted to be with each other... awwwwwwww. :heart:

Ape if i were an otter and you were an otter i would hold your hand :heart:

[April40]

Ape if i were an otter and you were an otter i would hold your hand :heart:

Just so you could steal my tongs.

[Dharma1521]

Just so you could steal my tongs.

Damn you and your discomfort with sincerity.

[April40]

Damn you and your discomfort with sincerity.

Bitch you know I love you. Now stfu and suck my cock. :heart:

[kiwi]

This brings to mind a story my doctor told me. He got most of his early training in the military and at one point he was seeing a gal who had gotten pregnant 3 months after her spouse had been deployed. Her excuse to the doctor was "My teenage sons must have been masturbating in the bathtub again." True story.

[April40]

This brings to mind a story my doctor told me. He got most of his early training in the military and at one point he was seeing a gal who had gotten pregnant 3 months after her spouse had been deployed. Her excuse to the doctor was "My teenage sons must have been masturbating in the bathtub again." True story.

:lol: Ahh women... tramps!

[ChikkenNoodul]

This brings to mind a story my doctor told me. He got most of his early training in the military and at one point he was seeing a gal who had gotten pregnant 3 months after her spouse had been deployed. Her excuse to the doctor was "My teenage sons must have been masturbating in the bathtub again." True story.

That's even more disgusting than admitting she had an affair :lol: