best comeback ever vr. post your own?

[inline4]

The Best Comeback Line Ever:
Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the recently and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you got to love this! This
is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his
military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers...
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? The radio went silent and the interview ended.

[April40]

That's so 1990s.

[itburnswhenipee]

"Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. And in the morning I shall be sober."

[April40]

"Yo Mama."

[b_sinning]

It was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realise that you are screwing a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there and then looked me straight in the face and said,


"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"


http://www.avolites.org.uk/jokes/best-comeback.htm

[itburnswhenipee]

POMPUS ASSHAT (responding to some percieved slight): Do you know who I am?

EVERYDAY SLOB: No. Do you know who I am?

POMPUS ASSHAT: No.

EVERYDAY SLOB: Well, then we're even!

[bast_imret]

Highbrow: "Forgive me for the intelligence of my argument; I'd forgotten that you were a Member of Parliament."

Lowbrow: "If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it." Best part is, that line was uttered from the mouth of Betty White. Hot.

[fly]

Highbrow: "Forgive me for the intelligence of my argument; I'd forgotten that you were a Member of Parliament."

Lowbrow: "If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it." Best part is, that line was uttered from the mouth of Betty White. Hot.
Betty White? no way.

[bast_imret]

Betty White? no way.

yup, in Lake Placid.

[elpmis]

this is from 3 months ago, when I visited fly and april:

FLY: elpmis did you drink all the creme soda last night?

*awkward silence*

ELPMIS: can I have sex with your cat Steve?

[Sarcasmo]

Why don't you love me dad? Because I'm gay?


















*sob*

[inline4]

this is from 3 months ago, when I visited fly and april:

FLY: elpmis did you drink all the creme soda last night?

*awkward silence*

ELPMIS: can I have sex with your cat Steve?
god how i wish i had been there and said i was a cat named steve..

:(

[Sarcasmo]

It was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realise that you are screwing a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there and then looked me straight in the face and said,


"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"


http://www.avolites.org.uk/jokes/best-comeback.htm


So what, before midnight he had been screwing a carriage? I don't get it.

[April40]

this is from 3 months ago, when I visited fly and april:

FLY: elpmis did you drink all the creme soda last night?

*awkward silence*

ELPMIS: can I have sex with your cat Steve?


:drool: creme soda

[fly]

:drool: sex w/ steve

[BeerAd]

yup, in Lake Placid.

Yep, with her giant croc's

[BeerAd]

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the Desk.... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor For today??"
There's something wrong with my dick", he replied. The Receptionist became Irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say Things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you", he said.

The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this Room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with Your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in Private".


The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full Strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??"
There 's something wrong with my ear", he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her Advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"
I can't piss out of it", he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter.
Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose!

[elpmis]

yup, in Lake Placid.
worst movie ever

[bast_imret]

Except for Betty White being a rude, foul-mouthed beyotch. That was awsome.

[FlamingGlory]

I truly never expected someone to as stupid enough to post a chain email here.

http://www.snopes.com/military/reinwald.htm

You win teh prize.

[BeerAd]

I truly never expected someone to as stupid enough to post a chain email here.

http://www.snopes.com/military/reinwald.htm

You win teh prize.


No sir, you do, lol:fly:

[FlamingGlory]

No sir, you do, lol:fly:
teh was on purpose, to be as*

[BeerAd]

teh was on purpose, to be as*

hehe, i know, just tuggin you leg :drool:

[FlamingGlory]

hehe, i know, just tuggin you leg :drool:
Ok, well I still want to bitchslap inline4.

[JPatrick]

Ok, well I still want to bitchslap inline4.


Just be sure and aim low.

[BeerAd]

Just be sure and aim low.

or lower if he is sitting in the Miata

[inline4]

he's gotta catch me first......


eerr.. i'll shut up now

[FlamingGlory]

he's gotta catch me first......


eerr.. i'll shut up now
I'm fairly sure I'm bigger, stronger, and faster.

And now for something that made me laugh:

"I'd been sleeping with this girl for a few weeks, and things were getting experimental. She was into anal beads, so one night she whipped out a bottle of lube and a strand. We started doing it doggy style, and she told me to massage her bad place with the lube. Once it was nice and greasy, I started feeding the beads into her butt, one by one. I was so cool. We started doing it doggy again, and as each of us got closer to climaxing she told me to pull the beads out. Only she didn't specify that I should pull them out S-L-O-W-L-Y, and I gave the string a tug like I was rip-starting a lawn mower. I'm still trying to block out what happened next. Let's just say there was a loud noise, some poop, and a lot of anger involved. That was my one and only experiment with butt love."

[Sarcasmo]

omfg

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[b_sinning]

LOL at the lawn mower line.

[bast_imret]

Ok, this one is a little long, but trust me, it's well worth the read:


One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

pwnt

[FlamingGlory]

waffles

[inline4]

I'm fairly sure I'm bigger, stronger, and faster.

And now for something that made me laugh:

i'm not so sure about all of the above but meh..