shawndavid
07-07-2006, 06:03 PM
Here's the scoop on Amy's New England debacle:
We were hanging out with friends at a local franchise in NH called Margaritas. Amy was sitting at the bar with her friend, Lisa, I believe, and I was at a table which was right next to where they were with 4 other friends. Amy and Lisa each had a drink and a shot in front of them. Amy, as she often does, had her drinks kind of behind her (next to her $8M purse) and some guy grabbed her drink which had just been served. Now this, as many of you know, is a red card in Amy Land. She didn't give two shits about the Coach bag, but touch her Bacardi and you'll pull back a bloody stump, you dirty cocksucker!!!
So...her friend sees the guy abscond with the libation and, before I even realized there was an issue, Amy was on him like Hugh Grant on a black slut. The bartender gets the manager and the manager comes out. Evidently this guy is a regular so they let him off with buying her a new drink and relocating to the outside bar.
Fast forward an hour and 3 drinks...
A simmering conversation has now been brewing about this guy between Amy and a few other unknowns at the bar and, as it turns out, he's notorious for nabbing drinks from unsuspecting [read: drunk] customers.
So...with this new arrow in her quiver, Super Amy heads out to save the world and tell this guy exactly how she feels about him. He repsonds to her claims of his erectile dysfunction and baby penis with a question directed toward her standing as a pure woman.
With this she goes to throw a drink in his face but, as I can attest, her coordination leaves quite a bit to be desired and the mug slips through her little fingers like that bitch Stallone dropped in Cliffhanger. Now, let me tell you, this was some slow motion, Matrix shit. The mug hits the guy in the face, dislodging at least one of the three teeth he had left, and he hits the floor on all fours like Andy Dick at a frat party.
The cops come and Amy gets arrested, but they let her go after stewing in the back of the cruiser for 45 minutes or so. They cuffed the guy as well, but let him go shortly thereafter.
Right now we're trying to figure out how she's going to show up for her court date.
Go figure - something like this happens and it's not me in the black and white. Every dog has his motherfunkin' day, bitches...
I'll post my pics later - I'm back at work on this crappy terminal.
We were hanging out with friends at a local franchise in NH called Margaritas. Amy was sitting at the bar with her friend, Lisa, I believe, and I was at a table which was right next to where they were with 4 other friends. Amy and Lisa each had a drink and a shot in front of them. Amy, as she often does, had her drinks kind of behind her (next to her $8M purse) and some guy grabbed her drink which had just been served. Now this, as many of you know, is a red card in Amy Land. She didn't give two shits about the Coach bag, but touch her Bacardi and you'll pull back a bloody stump, you dirty cocksucker!!!
So...her friend sees the guy abscond with the libation and, before I even realized there was an issue, Amy was on him like Hugh Grant on a black slut. The bartender gets the manager and the manager comes out. Evidently this guy is a regular so they let him off with buying her a new drink and relocating to the outside bar.
Fast forward an hour and 3 drinks...
A simmering conversation has now been brewing about this guy between Amy and a few other unknowns at the bar and, as it turns out, he's notorious for nabbing drinks from unsuspecting [read: drunk] customers.
So...with this new arrow in her quiver, Super Amy heads out to save the world and tell this guy exactly how she feels about him. He repsonds to her claims of his erectile dysfunction and baby penis with a question directed toward her standing as a pure woman.
With this she goes to throw a drink in his face but, as I can attest, her coordination leaves quite a bit to be desired and the mug slips through her little fingers like that bitch Stallone dropped in Cliffhanger. Now, let me tell you, this was some slow motion, Matrix shit. The mug hits the guy in the face, dislodging at least one of the three teeth he had left, and he hits the floor on all fours like Andy Dick at a frat party.
The cops come and Amy gets arrested, but they let her go after stewing in the back of the cruiser for 45 minutes or so. They cuffed the guy as well, but let him go shortly thereafter.
Right now we're trying to figure out how she's going to show up for her court date.
Go figure - something like this happens and it's not me in the black and white. Every dog has his motherfunkin' day, bitches...
I'll post my pics later - I'm back at work on this crappy terminal.